What is this hot mess dumpster fire part of cuckolding??

It all started when Lukas read through some posts about cuckolding on Reddit, and what he read made him quite upset. Instead of spending his time arguing online he decided to email Venus with his frustrations. He wrote about how experienced bulls and cucks are destroying the expectations of what cuckolding is really about, and that prospective new couples see this as the norm yet are unknowingly being misled. So what is this hot mess of misinformation that's going on? Have a listen to the episode to find out.

Links

Lukas on Fetlife - Lukas39

Reddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/CuckoldPsychology/

Join the QQ community for free limited access - https://www.venuscuckoldress.com/offers/FTNWndiv/checkout 

The Venus Blog - https://www.venuscuckoldress.com/blog?tag=venus 

Venus on GTFO radio - https://gtforadio.ca/shows-a/venus-cuckoldress/ 

All other links - https://linktr.ee/venuscuckoldress 

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Here's what's coming up on the show.

Speaker 2: 0:03

I think these online forums have a lot to answer for. We've talked before about Reddit. I've gone on there a few times now and there's a few cuckold subs that you can read through and there seems to be an awful lot of interaction between cucks and bulls and what they're going to do to each other, and not many women on there being part of it. And to me cuckolding is about empowering the woman. There are potential cuckolds out there who realise that's the lifestyle they want to live. They try and bring their partner to it and she reluctantly often agrees to read up and explore it. And then she jumps onto one of these forums and it's all about her husband's bisexual fantasy. That's the picture she gets. You know, those forums reflect nothing like he's promised her the lifestyle will be.

Speaker 2: 0:56

Hotness is the only word to describe it. I went on this forum once and you know there were comments like a bull wrote I can walk in the room and the minute he sees my bulge, I know I can just cock slap him across the face with it. And then it was just someone under that saying oh, I'd let you cock slap me across the face and you know, and it just continued on and on with, you know. And the other one I really don't get is all this conversation of I make the cuck suck my cock or I fuck the cuck up the ass. I don't enjoy it. I do it to assert my domination. I'm like, oh, please, please.

Speaker 1: 1:47

This is the Venus Cuckoldris podcast, a place to learn all things cuckolding for the curious, for the passionate and for the sexually empowered woman who wants it all. Let's go. Welcome to the show everyone. I'm your host, venus. Thank you so much for joining me for this well, very interesting episode that I have going on today. Well, very interesting episode that I have going on today. My guest is from Australia.

Speaker 1: 2:25

He emailed me with some concerns, some concerns about let's just call it, a dumpster fire hot mess of misinformation, perceptions and assumptions that are being made online in forums that are really hurting the lifestyle, that are being made online in forums that are really hurting the lifestyle. So listen up because, beware, I think we can do a lot better. Okay, before we get started, I have a few announcements, as per usual. The first one this is so awesome, you guys. The Venus blog is back. It's been gone for like I don't know, a year and a half, maybe two years, something like that. It's been gone for a while. I used to have a year and a half, maybe two years, something like that. It's been gone for a while. I used to have a big blog before I started podcasting and then I added to it along the way after podcasting and then I had it taken down for a while. And there's also the Goddess Worshipper blog that is on the Venus Kukulcist website, but now there is the Venus blog as well. So it's back. All the archives are back and as well as the most recent articles, including one that I just posted on my Twitter called the Sexually Empowered Woman who Wants it All. Make sure you check it out. Go to venuscuckledriscom. Just click on the tab that says the Venus blog. Oh, oh yeah, I almost forgot. I'm also looking for anyone who wants to contribute to the blog. So if you have something that you would like to write about that you think would be a great fit for the Venus blog, please just send an email to teamvenus at venuscuckledresscom. I know it's a long email, but feel free to rewind and replay that teamvenus at venuscuckoldresscom. I know it's a long email, but feel free to rewind and replay that TeamVenus at VenusCuckoldresscom and, who knows, maybe your article will get published on VenusCuckoldresscom. Okay, also, gtfo Radio, the radio show I do once a month live.

Speaker 1: 4:22

I'm going to be doing that on April 16th. It's a Tuesday. My guest will be Oliver. He's been on the show before. He's such a wonderful guest and make sure you check the link in the show notes for today so that you can mark your calendar and listen in live on the 16th.

Speaker 1: 4:40

Last but not least, I don't know if you've heard this or not, but recently I have opened up some limited free access to the Queens Quarters community and it's such an awesome place to be able to hang out, chat, talk to other people, make some new friends. There's also live meetups that I do on there. I just did one with Crystal Welch. It was super fun. So it is free. You can just sign up and the link is in the show notes for today and it will be where I will announce something really spectacular that I'm working on. It's such a big announcement I'm so excited to be able to tell you, but I can't tell you yet. So make sure you sign up for that free access to the community, and when I can tell you, which will hopefully be soon, it's going to be awesome. Just take my word for it. Okay, that's it for announcements.

Speaker 1: 5:36

Let with me on the show today. He goes by the name of Lucas and he is one half of a cuckold FLR couple from Australia and he's a full time submissive to his partner, elise, and their domination and submission is exclusive to them, meaning bulls don't play a dominant role in their lives, so we're going to talk about that. She usually plays alone or with him with an earshot, and cuckolding is simply another tool in her domination over him. This sounds like a really fascinating, unique dynamic. So welcome to the show, lucas. I'm happy to have you here. Say hello to all the listeners.

Speaker 2: 6:29

Thank you very much for having me and thank you to all the listeners that are listening. Hello.

Speaker 1: 6:34

This is a really cool episode. I'm excited for this because you sent me an email and you were online I think it's on Reddit. You were fired up about something. There was something that had you fired up and you're like, oh, I can't stand this, this is pissing me off. This is I think you called it a hot mess of misinformation that's out there, and so and I think it like good on you for emailing me instead of just bickering back and forth arguing with people on Reddit Because, like you, now, now we can talk about it, now we can be like okay, like this is what's going on, and have like a huge, wide audience. So good for you. That's pretty ballsy.

Speaker 2: 7:15

Yeah, yeah, cool, cool.

Speaker 1: 7:17

So, before we get into that hot mess of misinformation that's out there, let's talk about your dynamic and your relationship and how it started, how it evolved and where it's at today.

Speaker 2: 7:33

Well, we've been together 16 years. Started out very vanilla. We just gradually grew into an FLR, I think, over time. I couldn't pinpoint when it started, but we just grew into it and then the cuckolding flowed as a result of chastity which each built on the next. And here we are today in this full 24-7 FLR cuckold relationship, and it's the most deep and loving relationship I've ever been in.

Speaker 1: 8:02

So you started out in an FLR. How did it go from that, you said, to chastity? So there was some sexual denial.

Speaker 2: 8:10

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 8:11

Then it is a bit of a jump into cuckolding, because then you're involving non-monogamy within your relationship. Who brought that up and who initiated that change?

Speaker 2: 8:21

Look, I'm sure it was me, as it always is, but I think over time she started to realize that if I was kept denied I was a much better submissive partner. Her only issue with keeping me denied was that she didn't want to miss out on sex, and that was her big roadblock to chastity?

Speaker 1: 8:44

Yeah, so she's like why would I want to lock you up? I still want to sleep out on sex. And that was her big roadblock for chastity.

Speaker 2: 8:46

So she's like why would I want to lock you up? I still want to sleep with you. But over time, gradually, she started to see the advantages of keeping me denied. And then she grew in confidence, I think, and decided, no, well, I don't have to deny myself to deny him. And so we've just gradually grown into this relationship here. But she's a very dominant personality and hence why I see this frustration of seeing online how every bull seems to think that every cuckold relationship he's going to be the dom. If you know what I mean, it's very frustrating. We're a full-time flr household and she runs the show. There's no void for someone to come in and fill at the top right.

Speaker 1: 9:34

Okay, so you, you have this power dynamic that's gone on in your relationship for a very long time, and she's not interested in being dominated by a bull, she just wants partners to have great sex with right.

Speaker 2: 9:49

Exactly right, she wants a good fuck. Yeah, that's that.

Speaker 1: 9:58

Okay, so I can totally understand why this is frustrating for you guys, because the stereotype is that cuckolds are submissive, that they look for a dominant bull, and maybe we can talk about like where those stereotypes come from and why they're so prevalent. But what has it been like for you guys to try to find guys quote, unquote bulls for your wife? I'm sure you've come across a lot of assumptions that people make about you. What's that been like for you?

Speaker 2: 10:30

So we've had some great bulls over the years. They come in and it's her and them and I'm outside, or I'm probably out taking the kids somewhere, and that's been great. But then you get some that come in and they're all about dominating the cuck as well and you know always saying to her you know, let's bring him in and make him watch. And it's just frustrating because she is like well, you're here for me.

Speaker 1: 11:02

See, I've heard other versions of this, but the opposite, where, like people find a bull, a couple will find a bull and he doesn't want to involve, like he's not interested in the cuck at all, he's just, and it annoys some couples who do want to have the cuck involved. Oh yeah.

Speaker 2: 11:21

Yeah, so, but this is my main frustration, right, every couple's different, and a good bull, when he comes into the room, reads the room rather than just assuming he's going to run the room, because sometimes that's what they want and a lot of people I've spoken to that's not what they want.

Speaker 1: 11:41

Yeah, and I will say that it is quite common among just regular cuckolding couples and I'm not talking about what you see in porn, but I'm just talking about everyday people who are involved with cuckolding as just a spicy part of the bedroom stuff that they've got going on, that it a lot of the times is like that. So that is pretty common and so I can definitely understand how frustrating it would be to come across guys who don't even take that into consideration. They just think that they understand what is portrayed in porn. I guess Is that where you think that the stereotypes are coming from.

Speaker 2: 12:22

I definitely do. I think these online forums have a lot to answer for. We've talked before about Reddit. I've gone on there a few times now and there's a few cuckold subs that you can read through and there seems to be an awful lot of interaction between cucks and bulls and what they're going to do to each other, and not many women on there being part of it. And to me, cuckolding is about empowering the woman. My partner is empowered by the fact she cuckolds me, and when the cuck and the bull start having a sexual relationship, to me that's not empowering the woman, it's something else altogether. It's fine, it's great if that's what you want to do, but to me that's not cuckolding. That's become more of a poly type situation with dominance and submission as the theme, if you know what I mean.

Speaker 1: 13:10

Yeah. Yeah, the listeners can't see this, but I'm sitting here just nodding my head, smiling, going yep. Actually, it was for myself really frustrating in the beginning to realize how much this is a male driven fantasy for a lot of guys and how how much we as women are missing in the conversations and therefore there's nobody really to fill in the blanks, except for dudes online. So they're all chiming in and giving advice and and and and answering questions and stuff like that, just because there's just no women there. The women are not there to participate in those conversations and so, yeah, you do end up getting some. Really, oh my God.

Speaker 1: 13:59

I have heard of the worst fucking advice given online where I'm like what the actual fuck is going on here? Like you guys just need to like stop, because this is really really really not going to be good for your relationship, and I guarantee you she's not going to appreciate that. And like, just stop. And so I totally get that. But the online spaces are not very friendly and welcoming in general for women. From my experience, they're just not.

Speaker 2: 14:38

No, and my frustration is born out of the fact that there are potential cuckolds out there who realise that's the lifestyle they want to live. They try and bring their partner to it and she, reluctantly, often agrees to read up and explore it. And then she jumps onto one of these forums and it's all about her husband's bisexual fantasy. That's the picture she gets. You know, those forums reflect nothing like he's promised her the lifestyle will be, and sometimes it's a legitimate promise. Sometimes, unfortunately, it's probably a stepping stone into getting into that relationship. But either way, any female reading that stuff's just going to go. No, not for me.

Speaker 1: 15:17

Yes, one of my very first episodes I think it was like one of the first 10 episodes I ever did was called the Ugly Side of Cuckolding Popularity and it was about. That is because I do worry about what women are exposed to as their first impression of what this relationship really is. If they go online, if they go and watch this porn, if they go onto these forums that are mostly men online and read and figure out, what are they learning? What is their first impression? What are they going to assume about this lifestyle?

Speaker 2: 15:55

it's unfortunate because it's not really reflective of what's really beneficial for women really reflective of what's really beneficial for women, and the relationship is all about the woman. The cuckold derives his pleasure from her pleasure most of the time I think in most couples anyway, and if it's not about her, for me it would be empty. I think there would be no enjoyment in this.

Speaker 1: 16:19

Yeah, I love that you say that. So what exactly are they saying online Like where did this come from? Do you remember some of the comments Like what was it?

Speaker 2: 16:32

Hot mess is the only word to describe it. I went on this forum once and you know there were comments like a bull wrote I can walk in the room and the minute he sees my bulge, I know I can just cock slap him across the face with it. And then it was just someone under that saying, oh, I'd let you cock slap me across the face, and you know. And it just continued on and on with you know. And the other one I really don't get is all this conversation of I make the cock suck my cock or I fuck the cuck up the ass.

Speaker 2: 17:06

I don't enjoy it. I do it to assert my domination and I'm like, oh, please, please. But this is, and the frustration too is that you know, we've come such a long way in the world with gay and bisexuality and everything, and cuckolding has such a long way in the world, with gay and bisexuality and everything, and cuckolding has such a stigma. Yet for some reason, online, some of these people prefer to use the cuckolding thing to as an excuse to explore the gay and bi thing, which is almost an everyday thing now.

Speaker 2: 17:34

That's normal and accepted. Yet people sit or sit it sit there wanting to say you, you know, I do it only because I have to.

Speaker 1: 17:43

Yeah, yeah, I called them backpack cucks. This was the single guys who I came across, who would come across on these sites online, who would immediately just unload all of their wants from their backpack. I want you to make me suck the bull's cock. I want you to make me wear panties, and I want and I want and I want all this stuff. Let me and I said in the episode I'm like, okay, as a single woman interested in learning about this kind of relationship, that's overwhelming and that is a bit of a like, it's a bit wild. Okay, for anybody who's starting at like step one, it's a bit wild. I mean, maybe if you're like kinky as fuck at eight out of 10 women, it's not gonna phase you. But for most women who maybe their partners just brought this up to them or whatever, or whatever they're curious to learn, that's gonna be a bit much. And you're right, there are a lot of guys out there who think, oh, I would love to explore this side of me. I find it really hot thinking about that fantasy where I'm forced to do these things and suck the bull off and stuff like that. For a lot of guys, they think, oh, this kind of relationship would be great for that. A relationship would be great for that.

Speaker 1: 19:00

I rarely, ever, ever, ever get couples or singles who, as guests for this show, who want to talk about being bisexual in a cuck role. I rarely get people who want to talk about it on the show. They're usually too shy. But I went and I rarely ever go on Reddit because I inherited a stalker from there really bad a few years ago. But I went on there this morning because I was like I'm going to poke my head around in here and see what's going on and there was some interesting conversations, but there was. I was surprised at how many conversations there are on there about the forced by aspect of cuckolding, which is I found interesting because, like, I just don't see people talk about that a lot in other spaces and so no this is definitely something where, like, people go to reddit to be able to talk about that and is it?

Speaker 2: 20:02

yeah, is it just?

Speaker 1: 20:03

wank material that they're going for, I'm assuming a hundred percent shocker.

Speaker 2: 20:11

But but that's. That's the problem, isn't it? Because a vanilla person wanting to learn about the lifestyle, they're not going to jump straight to fetlife. They're going to go to Reddit, which is a fairly vanilla platform across the board, and they're met with this hardcore bisexual domination stuff and they almost immediately are going to just shut down. You know, and it's weird, and you can never control what's on social media. I think the only thing we can do is get the word out there. I mean, flr and cuckolding is a really loving dynamic where boundaries are pushed but everyone's boundaries are respected and it's not for someone else Often it's not for someone else to come in and try and control the relationship.

Speaker 1: 20:57

Yeah, I think it's important to have balance when it comes to messaging about this kind of relationship and that's why I get upset about, you know, the like places, spaces like twitter and stuff, where findom has really adopted cuckolding as like, oh, this is a great way to make money and I'm just gonna push the hardcore abuse and degradation of cucks and and get more money. I, you know there's a space for that. You know, go for a beat, do that. You know, if that turns you on to go for it, I'm okay with that. But the fact that is so imbalanced, that that messaging is so loud because it's just so massive there that it I worry about, yeah, woman going on there and wanting to learn about cuckolding and that's what she sees. Oh, no, like that's going to be bad honestly in a world, and so having that kind of balance is important.

Speaker 1: 22:12

I remember I went online a long time ago. There was this cuckold chat room and I was like, oh my god, yes, this sounds awesome. Like we're gonna have have a chat. It's going to be, there's going to be people talking about cuckolding. Like this sounds great, this is right. When I was like just learning about it and stuff, I went in there. Holy fuck, lucas. Oh my God, it was such a disappointment. All it was was this like really fast scroll of people posting pics and memes and it was wank off material is all it was. There was no conversation going on at all. It was bulls just trying to be ultra dominant, really like just basically at, you know, and then cucks just asking to be humiliated and stuff. I was like what the actual fuck is this like?

Speaker 2: 23:03

yeah, yeah, yeah, um, yeah, and that's the thing like I, I uh was talking to my partner about this not so long ago and I said you know, when you see a bull, we we go through this whole whole ritual almost of um. The night before I'll groom her and do her nails, eyebrows if she needs, or whatever it is she wants, and then on the day she will get up and shower and do her makeup and put on lingerie. Imagine going through all that to have the bulwark in the room and stick his cock in the cuck's mouth while she's lying on the bed there going what am I? It just doesn't feel like it's empowering her at all, and it's not why women want to come to this. I'm speaking generally. Of course, there'll be some that enjoy that, but it surely can't be the reason that women want to try this lifestyle.

Speaker 1: 24:56

Yeah, it's definitely not something that pops up right in the beginning. The whole bisexual aspect of some couples usually happens gradually, that this is something that they decide they want to, monogamous and vanilla one moment, and the next moment she's going to make me wear panties and I'm going to suck off the bull Like. It just doesn't go that way.

Speaker 2: 25:31

No, no, and that's the message that needs to get out there that a lot of cuckold couples are very, very straight and some are bi and they're both fine, but the role of the bull is to know which one he's with and to perform his role as the third in that setting.

Speaker 1: 25:49

And I think it's his responsibility to do so. That is his role. But he has a responsibility to understand the unique dynamic that this couple is in and, if he makes the decision to, you know, engage with that. That is his responsibility to play within that dynamic and not make assumptions. That's important for a lot of guys who understand this kind of cuckolding thing. But let's face it, there's just a lot of guys out there looking for pussy that are just like sure, cuckolding, I'll sign up whatever. And they are just going to base their whole expectations around what they see online in that forum where it says I can walk in and I can smack his face with my dick and blah, blah, blah. And like we're setting these guys up for failure if we are not being clear about the messaging.

Speaker 2: 26:49

Like you know, we're playing fantasy talk right now you know, yeah, yeah exactly, exactly, and you know that time at the start, the bull really needs to just take a moment to have a frank discussion with the couple about what their lifestyle is.

Speaker 1: 27:07

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 27:08

Are they looking for a dominant to come in? Okay, I can fill that role. Or are they just wanting a lover for her? Yeah, I can fill that role.

Speaker 1: 27:36

Absolutely, and I think that for experienced couplesuckolding is that everything's just going to fall into place and this is going to be a mind blowing experience and everything's just going to work out so hot and we don't even think about that unsexy conversation that you have to have first. Like what do you want this to look like and what do you like to hear? What do you like to do? What do you not want to do? Like all of those between all three people.

Speaker 1: 28:03

So all these poor couples who and I read about them, some of them on Reddit were like all nervous about this is going to be my first time and blah, blah, blah. Or I had, we had our first time and it didn't go as we planned, or because all shit went sideways and stuff. And I'm like man, there's so much room for error here. We really do need to be like okay, hold up, like this is a fun fantasy and everything like that. But you have to have these conversations ahead of time. I know it doesn't seem fun and sexy and you might not know the answers to all the questions that somebody is gonna ask, but this is what you need to do beforehand. The bull plays a big role in that he has to. He can't just walk in especially for a brand new couple just walk in and be like I'm just going to wing it.

Speaker 2: 28:54

Yeah, exactly right, exactly right. I mean there's a fair bit of psychology. I guess he needs to be a bit of a psychologist to sort of be able to understand the dynamic and know how to fit into it.

Speaker 1: 29:04

But that's what makes a bull a really good bull is that they are so fascinated by the psychology of this dynamic and so curious to learn about this dynamic. That's what separates a guy that just wants pussy and a really good bull.

Speaker 2: 29:25

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 29:26

And they love that role. Because of that. They just, you know, dive right into that role. It's fascinating to them and that's how they feel fulfilled, just like how I feel fulfilled being in the role of a cuckoldress in that scenario, like it's everything for me. I enjoy the psychology of it. It's the same for a cuck, I'm assuming. Oh, 100%.

Speaker 2: 29:52

I mean, it's all about the psychology, really Okay.

Speaker 1: 29:55

So what needs to change? Right now, it's a hot mess of information out there. What do you think needs to happen to kind of make some positive change with this?

Speaker 2: 30:07

I think we just need more positive messaging. It's impossible to rein in the internet. That's never going to happen. That misinformation is always going to be out there. But people who are in happy, cuckolding FLR lifestyle need to speak up, even if it's anonymously online, but be heard because they'll all tell you it's a beautiful lifestyle and we love it. But you know they stay away from those forums because it's just overrun with fantasy people, people. I think they need to get out there. Be anonymous if you need to be, but just get out there and get the message out that it is a beautiful form of a relationship.

Speaker 1: 30:45

And very unique to each person 100%.

Speaker 2: 30:48

Yeah, totally, totally unique.

Speaker 1: 30:50

I think that there's absolutely room and space for all of the wank material and the seeking out the wank material and the consuming all of the wank material that's out there. When it comes to cuckolding, there's space for that, but when you intermingle it with real conversations, that's where we get this like real I don't know what's you know like, where people can get the wrong interpretation of what's happening. So, having spaces where you can have real talk about cuckolding with real couples, women included, where it is not going, where the women are not going to be, you know, bombarded with messages from guys who just want to wank off or you know all of that If there's a safe place for women to be able to go and have these conversations, I think that would be so beneficial. I think what you've had to say here is so important and it's just really great. I think that would be so beneficial. I think what you've had to say here is so important and it's just really great.

Speaker 1: 31:44

I'm glad that you've reached out to me to have this discussion because you're right, this is not something that we see properly portrayed online. For a lot of couples it's just not resonating and for a lot of single or women who are learning about this. This is potentially really detrimental misinformation and stereotypes that are not going to be serving these women and their potential experiences, so I'm really glad that we reached out. I will be checking out the Reddit threads a little bit more now.

Speaker 2: 32:18

Wow Good, there's one called Cuckold Psychology, which sounds really promising, and it's probably where any prospective cuckoldress would go for information, just given the title. And that's where my frustrations came out of that thread.

Speaker 1: 32:33

I will post the link to that in the show notes for today. Is there anywhere where people can learn more about you or potentially contact you?

Speaker 2: 32:45

FetLife Lucas39,. Lucas with a K, not a C 39. That's pretty much. My inbox is open.

Speaker 1: 32:53

Well, thank you so much for coming on the show today. I really appreciate it. Do you have any last thoughts or words of advice that you want to give right before we say goodbye?

Speaker 2: 33:03

Yeah, look, I just reiterate to the bulls out there, the new bulls particularly just take the time to learn the dynamic of the relationship that you're becoming a part of and for the cucks out there, try to focus on what it is that your cuckoldress needs for that relationship to work well. And if everyone did that, we'd be in a very good space.

Speaker 1: 33:25

Absolutely, I agree. All right, Lucas. Thank you so much for coming on the show today.

Speaker 2: 33:31

No problem, venus, thank you for having me.

Speaker 1: 33:34

Thanks for joining me today. Make sure you go to venuscuckledresscom. That's where you can book a private chat with me, you can check out any cuckolding events that might be happening, and you can even ask a question for the show, as well as, of course, join the Queens Quarters fan club and get all the benefits for that. You can also follow me on Instagram, the Venus Cuckoldress podcast. I haven't been banned there Well, I have, but not recently. You can also follow me on Twitter, or whatever the fuck you want to call it. My handle is at Cuckoldris V. That's it for today. We'll see you next time. Outro Music.