The Venus Cuckoldress Podcast
The Venus Cuckoldress Podcast
The Joy of Keyholding - Chastity and Sexual Denial with Crystal Welch
Unlock the doors to a deeper understanding of chastity, trust, intimacy, and power dynamics with this episode featuring the incredible Crystal Welch. We'll unravel the layers of chastity and cuckolding, examining how these practices can reshape relationship bonds and empower men in unexpected ways.
This discussion is a journey of sexual gratification from a female perspective, the significance of ending the barter system, and the mental load relief that can revolutionize partnerships. With Crystal's candid discussion about her own experiences, we confront the complexities of modern relationships, exploring how non-monogamous arrangements and the distribution of power can foster mutual respect and admiration.
Join us as we celebrate the strength found in expressing one's desires and the profound impact of embracing female power within a partnership. This is an episode for those curious about chastity and who seek to redefine intimacy, pleasure, and partnership on their own terms.
Links
Pillow Talk with Venus & Doc Chocolate March 8th - https://www.venuscuckoldress.com/events
Doc Chocolate's 100th Episode - https://bullsandqueens.com/blog/
Join the Helpful Cuck Tier - https://www.venuscuckoldress.com/offers/589WDju2/checkout
❤️Venus Connections❤️ - Matchmaking for loving cuckolding relationships and female-led relationships. Learn more at https://www.venusconnections.com/
👑♠️ Maison De Neige is high end lifestyle and streetwear fashion with a passion for the beauty of interracial combined with high fashion. Visit https://www.maisondeneige.com/
❤️xoafterglow.com❤️ Meet the platform for ethical porn. Made by women, for women (and everyone). We make and share videos that portray sex accurately and treat performers with dignity, because nothing is sexier than consent. Use code VENUS for a free 7 day trial at ➡️ https://afterglow.ubpages.com/venus/
Destination Links for Venus - https://linktr.ee/venuscuckoldress
Here's what's coming up on the show.
Speaker 2:I think these are all the subtle psychological impacts of cuckoldry and chastity. It's a willingness on both persons' hearts to turn that entire mechanism on its head. You know and my husband is still he's as secure a male as you will ever ever find. There isn't anything weak about him. There isn't anything. You know all the stereotypes that you might hear about cuckmills none of that is true. It's empowered him in a way. I mean it all brings him to tears when he talks about it, because this us playing with this dynamic has opened him up to an entirely new world that existed within him. It just needed to be excavated.
Speaker 1:You know, when your partner goes down on you and eats you out, there's this understanding that he's going to get something out of that sex. You know, piv sex is going to be afterwards and he's going to come like we're both going to have orgasm and it's going to like that's just that's the way it is, but there's something for him, he's going to get something out of it and with chastity it really takes that away, and so I, you know I could just go lay down in my bed, spread my legs open, have him come and eat my pussy until the cows come home. This is the Venus Cuckolders podcast, a place to learn all things cuckolding, for the curious, for the passionate and for the sexually empowered woman who wants it all. Welcome to the show everyone. I'm your host, venus.
Speaker 1:This is going to be such a great discussion about chastity and key holding Crystal Welch, who's going to be talking with me about the female perspective when it comes to chastity and key holding and this was originally recorded as a live chat on the Monap last month during the chastity two week challenge, the Locked in Love Challenge that I did with Key Barrett, and this is such a great discussion. It's fascinating. You will learn what it's really like for women. So it's important for women to listen to this episode so that they can get better understanding of the benefits, not only to themselves but for their relationship. And it's so important for cucks to listen to this one, so you can understand how this really benefits women, what it's like for them. And, of course, it's a great discussion for bulls to listen to as well, because then you can understand how this chastity dynamic really works within a couple and how it can really transform the experiences that you have together. And I should mention that there's a lot of discussion around chastity that's happening in the Queen's Quarters community and you can get free, limited access to that discussion to that community and ask questions, get advice, see tips, all of that sort of stuff share stories in the Queen's Quarters community. It's free. You just go to venuscuckoldresscom to register.
Speaker 1:It's titled Best there Is. It says if you're interested in this lifestyle at all and you want to listen to its subjects and broaden your knowledge, there's no better podcast than this one right here. She talks about the best stuff and the biggest problems in this lifestyle because she cares. You notice that she cares about it because she really lives it and wants to help, especially women, which is needed. She deserves more support. That is so amazing. I just want to say a big shout out, big thank you to this person in Germany who wrote this amazing five star rating and review on Apple Podcast. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. I'm so grateful and I really appreciate what you wrote. If anyone else wants to write a rating and review on Apple Podcast, that would be super appreciated, all right.
Speaker 1:Second announcement March 8th it's a Friday I'm going to be doing another pillow talk event with Doc Chocolate. It'll be a live event at 12 pm Pacific Time, that's 3 pm Eastern. It'll be live simulcast on the Moan App for free. You can listen in on the Moan App. Or, if you are a Queens Quarter supporter, then you get free access to the pillow talk events on Crowdcast, which means you get to watch, not just listen. We're going to be talking about some tips, suggestions about how to find the right bull, so it's going to be a great conversation. Make sure you don't miss it. Mark your calendars. Like I said, friday, march 8th, at noon Pacific Time.
Speaker 1:Oh, one last announcement Congratulations to Doc Chocolate, who is the host of the Bulls Queens Podcast. He has just released his 100th episode and I was the host of that show and I interviewed him. I put him in the hot seat. So if you want to have a listen to that show it was a lot of fun you can just check the link. That's in the show notes for today. Congrats to Doc Chocolate. Alright, that's it for announcements. Let's jump into today's show. Here we go. Welcome to this very special Moan Chat. I'm super excited to have my guest, crystal. Crystal, I'm thinking a lot of these people who are listening right now have heard you before, but for those who have not, do you want to introduce yourself?
Speaker 2:Sure. So I'm Crystal Welch. I met Venus a couple of years ago and we became soul sisters just automatically. We are both couples worshipers, and my brief story is I was married and divorced and never planned to marry again, and one of the key thoughts behind that was I knew that I, by nature, was never going to be monogamous again and I wasn't about to make a promise to marriage that included monogamy. And so then I met this.
Speaker 2:So I put a little ad in a craigslist number of years ago, after giving it some thought, saying I think I would be most well suited to a couple of male, you know, somebody that's completely loyal to me and that I'm never going to be loyal to, and so who should appear? But my dear husband Bidger affectionately referred to as Bidger, and we really do have an exalted relationship. It's really grown over the years. But he came from a swing or marriage that didn't work out. But he noticed along the way that he mostly liked to watch her and he was hardwired to it. And now he's like totally definitely hardwired to it, and we've had quite a journey. So that's my story.
Speaker 1:Wow, okay so, and I love the fact that you guys met through Craigslist Fuck it. I miss that website so much.
Speaker 2:I did too.
Speaker 1:The personal section of Craigslist was fucking fire and weird as fuck all at once.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but very successful. I mean, who goes husband funding on Craigslist? Nobody, yeah.
Speaker 1:So funny. I remember like I had a lot of success there too for finding bulls, and I remember like the minute you were you go and post anything on there in the personal section. You would get a female yeah, as a female you would be absolutely bombarded with responses.
Speaker 2:Where did we find that today? I have no idea. Yeah, I miss Craigslist a lot. Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1:Okay, and so what is your story with Chastity? And I will still. I just want to start out by saying the very first time I met Richard in person was I walked into a hotel room party and walked up to the little bar that was in there and Richard was there in, I think, just a t-shirt and his Chastity cage, and that was that he was bartending. That's when I first met him.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think his t-shirt said I have a small dick yeah.
Speaker 1:And him and I had a discussion about what drink I should get. So, anyway, that was when I first met your husband, when he was locked in a Chastity cage.
Speaker 2:Well, there you go. That's his natural, normal state.
Speaker 1:So what has Chastity been like for you guys? How did you and when did you start experimenting with that? Or had you experimented with Chastity before him?
Speaker 2:I actually had not and you know, like most other people, we all go through a learning curve. We start wherever we start and we go from there. So I think as we got, as I got, I started to write and we started to kind of share our experience and that got traction and the more we took deep dives into that, the more we were willing to experiment with other things. So I am very much hardwired. I wouldn't say I'm a female supremacist, but I am very anti male patriarchy. So I don't know where that puts me, but I've been pissed off about the patriarchy for, you know, a few decades and so a lot of this, a lot of this plays into my natural wheelhouse where I mean, what other physical thing could you do with a partner that makes the statement I am in control of your total masculinity? You know men that identify with their dick size and their you know bravado and all of that stuff. When, when he is willing to sacrifice all of that and give it up and let somebody lock his masculinity away and keep the key and have complete determination over when he might ever get out of that, it's very powerful Psychologically. It's powerful for both of us in different ways. For him. It definitely puts him into a sub space where he he is not so prone to forget who's in charge, as he is when he's not in the case. I put it that way, he's very super alpha male by day, and so we were laughing about this a little while ago thinking about this podcast that you know he's a challenge because he's like super aggressive alpha male, dude type, large and in charge in his business world and all of that stuff, and yet he's yearning to just lay all that down. It's like a vacation in his mind and so it's a particularly powerful practice for us.
Speaker 2:I don't leave him locked up all the time. In fact we pick up Chastity and put it down, like a lot of other aspects of this lifestyle. You know it has to be appropriate and fit with whatever's going on in our lives. So we pick it up and put it down. But when we're in, when I have a bowl and we're in the arena and we've got an opportunity, we take full use of it.
Speaker 2:And he's always, you know, we'll start by. We have a few friends that come to visit us and he'll put on his chauffeur outfit and put his cage on and drive to the airport to chauffeur our guests back to our house and he stays locked up. He stays locked up all weekend and I just torment him to the end of the earth and he just loves it, and so do I because it gets out all of my patriarchy angst and it gets all like his, you know, he this vacation in his mind, idea that he gets out of it. I mean it just. It fulfills him in the way that nothing else does. It's very powerful. It's much more powerful than you can imagine if you've never tried it.
Speaker 1:Yes, I agree with that 100%. So do you remember? I remember way back when, when I first held a key and I just thought I'd be like holding someone's key, I was like, yeah, whatever, but I really did feel the power and control that came along with it and I was surprised by that. Do you remember what it was like for you the very first time you held his keys?
Speaker 2:I wasn't as much. You know, I put it around my neck, but what I started noticing is that he wanted me to wear this key on a chain around my neck where he could see it, because him seeing it and when I saw his reaction then that got me even more excited, you know. So I wear it prominently on a chain with my cleanest big emblem and it's a constant reminder of who's in charge. And it's just, it's just, it's super fun, it's super powerful and it has. It has taken a good relationship and made it just incredible.
Speaker 1:So did you guys have to like ease into the chastity thing, Like was he scared? Or were you just like fuck this, fuck it, let's do this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're pretty much in the fuck it category. We neither one of us are shy and retiring in any way. So you know, we said we're doing this, we're gonna go for this, and you know, of course, in the beginning nobody knows what to expect. We, you know, I just wanted to see his reaction and so we, like I say, we use it consistently when I'm with a bull, because it just heightens the tension, it heightens everything, and that's what you know, that's what I'm going for, that's what he's going for. Yeah, and so far as we know, that's what most of the bulls that we've played with enjoy as well. They like the level of intensity and it just ramps everything up to, you know, off the scale.
Speaker 2:Yes, and that's kind of what we're looking for. So we weren't shy about it, we just marched right into it. I mean, there's been all sorts of things. We've played with impact. We've played with, you know, restraint. We've played with, you know, making him suck cock and you know, go go way, far, far out of his normal boundaries. Yeah, all the while in Chastity, where he has no control whatsoever over his own pleasure. He can only provide pleasure for myself and bull, and and that just f**ks with his head.
Speaker 1:I love how excited you get about that. I love it. I love it so much.
Speaker 2:But that is you know and that is you know. That's the results that we're going for. Yeah, and so you know. So just for people who are brand new, who might just be trying this idea on for the first time, I wouldn't suggest jumping in with necessarily with both feet, like we did. I mean, we both had very clear ideas of who we were, what we brought to the table early, early on, like I'm still I think we're the only couple that we know that advertised for a cause and we were in the cuck's dynamic from day one. I haven't met anybody else there. Probably is somebody else, but we've never met him. But so we came to the table with considerably more experience than average people.
Speaker 2:But you know it still gets back to the rules of the game communicate deeply, talk about what you're afraid of, talk about what hesitancy you have, talk about what thrills you and excites you, and watch the reaction of your partner. And then start there. And the other thing I would really strongly advise is be willing to pick it up and put it down. I we're not a couple that will ever be bound by hard and fast rules. Like it has to look just like this and we have to do this all the time and this is how it's going to be, and whatever that doesn't work for us in our day to day life. And so figure out what works in your day to day life. If it fits seamlessly in your real life, you're much more likely to be open and be willing to explore and try new things that maybe you hadn't thought of before.
Speaker 1:I was speaking with Kee Barrett about booking this chat with you and he is doing the two week challenge with his wife as well, and she wrote a quote that she would like to share for this chat. So I'm going to go ahead and read that and then get your feedback on that as well, Crystal. So she said locking up has a negative connotation, but it should be looked at as a positive experience for you both as a couple. It's a physical reminder to be present.
Speaker 1:That can mean a million different things to each couple. It's individual and unique. It can be sexual subservience, but for us it's about thoughtfulness, His being hyper aware of our relationship and all that. That means our parenting and the million different details that go into making our lives and home turn smoothly each day and picking up that weight, helping me find better balance so that I have room to see myself outside of the definition of wife and mother, so that I have space to feel sexual wanted needed, and that's something we both benefit from. I love this quote so much. I love that she talks about it being about being present, but also about being thoughtful. What are your?
Speaker 2:thoughts. Well, I couldn't agree with you more. I don't know that I've ever heard it more beautifully expressed than that. She really summed up the essence of, I think, as a female, what the benefits for the female are. And ultimately, in any loving relationship, whether you're married or not, if one partner is deeply fulfilled, the other partner will be too. Yes, kind of the way it works. It's kind of the way it works. And so she really and I loved that she brought up being present, because I think that captures the essence of what actually physically happens.
Speaker 2:It makes him be very present and then, as I'm aware that he's so present, throwing out little, and he's also very much into verbal humiliation, so it just gives me. I mean, it's just like, it's just like injecting my brain with humiliation ideas. I'm so creative, you know they just flow and that just sends him to the moon. For people who don't understand humiliation, that might throw you a kerfball, but it's again, it's part of that mechanism. That, the way he's explained it.
Speaker 2:I've asked him to deeply explain what his feelings are and what his experience is. Is all of that, that being in a cage, verbal humiliation, the physical reminder that he is not in charge. It helps him keep his whole ego mechanism in check. I mean, it's probably done more to whatever of, not just part of, you know, the toxic male patriarchy he's had within him. It's just it's served to sort of kill that off. So that it's a great reminder that you know my happiness and my satisfaction, my experiencing my own power. You know it keeps him so present with that, which helps the whole experience just be better for everybody, because if he's really present, I'm really present. If I'm really present, the bull is getting all the good stuff. Yes, yes, it's a feedback loop.
Speaker 1:It absolutely is. Yeah. Yeah, I love how she talked about. How she talked about how it gives her space to feel sexual, wanted and needed and outside of being a mother. And I think part of that comes down to easing the mental load of your partner.
Speaker 1:And I never really understood mental load. I didn't even hear, like I didn't even know what that meant, until recently actually found this guy he goes by Zach something or other and he's like on TikTok and stuff and he does these little videos and he calls himself a recovering man child and he talks about mental load and how some partners can be actually adding to their partner's mental load in the relationship and how detrimental that can be. And it's something that we do so automatically that you don't even realize it. And so he points that out. And I started watching these videos and I was like holy fuck, that's exactly Because I always knew that there was something like that but I couldn't put my finger on it and I started watching that, I was like, holy fuck, you're absolutely right about that.
Speaker 1:But when I read that quote from Kiebert's wife and she was talking about how he's more thoughtful and he's picking up that weight of the tasks of every day and stuff like that, and I was like, ooh, I feel like that's easing the mental load in the relationship and how Chastity can help with that, in that when he is more thoughtful, he is more present, he is thinking about her more than himself. Or just when you end the barter system, there is no me, it's now we, and so I think that that's one of the potential benefits for couples that really hasn't been talked about, but that there's just a massive potential there to really help a lot of couples. I don't know.
Speaker 2:Well, I think yeah, and I think that's really a good point.
Speaker 2:It's a really strong point and when you think about you know I'm sure it's also true in Canada but life in the 21st century is not easy for anyone.
Speaker 2:The stresses that were all under, between work issues and economy and politics and kids and whatever I mean, we're bombarded with the stuff of life and in the best dynamic, however you define it for yourself, if you can retreat into each other and have a recognition that getting a break mentally from whatever your routine is is just golden. I mean, so many Richard has retired now, but that was very, very recent and up until this point, you know I picked up the role because I worked at home. I picked up the role of doing all the housework and blah, blah, blah, blah. It is mundane, it is boring, you don't feel sussy, you don't necessarily feel appreciated, you don't just like stuff you got to do. And when you can drop all that for a little while and tune in, and you know, because this whole chastity issue is a back and forth, there's benefits for both people. But you know, making him hyper aware that you are much, much more than a house cleaner or a mom or whatever it is.
Speaker 2:And that he his masculinity thing, that he puffed around when he's at work and all that stuff is meaningless to you only until that it serves your pleasure, and when he gets that and he gets the mental release from that and you get the mental release because he's now focused on you, your pleasure, what you want, how you want to do it. You know that's a game changer. I mean, think of how many vanilla couples could benefit. I mean they might not find it in that mechanism, but if they could find it in any mechanism to find a way to let each other off the hook and really be a mental vacation and not a mental burden.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, I love that so much Shai was asking about if I'll post that quote somewhere. I'll put it on my Twitter page, I'll put it in the Queens Quarters community so that you can read that again. But it is absolutely beautiful quote. I'm so happy that she was able to contribute that Absolutely Profound. One of the other things I wanted to ask you about Crystal in Key Barrett's book, locked in Love I think it was in the first week, his why they were. You know, he was all butterflies and he was, you know, hyper aware of her and her and pleasing her and everything like that. And she unlocked him briefly and they had a quickie and after that he had what he calls the drop, where he yeah, where he was, he just his mood just crashed and he needed some comfort from his wife. And so now he he warns people of the drop and that that may happen. And was that ever? Did that ever happen to you guys when you guys did Chastity?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2:I mean really. You don't even have to be in the Chastity world to recognize. Most women that have ever slept with a man recognize that as soon as he comes, he's like you know, see you later. I'm watching the news. You know, it's just. It's just that it's that drop, that dopamine drop. They get all excited when they have an erection and once they ejaculate, that all dissipates and it dissipates very quickly.
Speaker 2:So that's a real thing, whether you're doing Chastity or not, I think it becomes heightened. It's particularly heightened when you're doing Chastity because the buildup is usually more intense and there's more link to it. So you know, the dopamine flooding that your brain gets is there's more, and so, by the same token I mean it's the same mechanism that's the way to keep your husband off. The news is to just keep him locked up and with promises in the future that if she's pleased, maybe good things could come. But that's a real thing. That's the real thing, whether you're doing Chastity or not. It's just a dopamine drop. I mean, it's just a physical thing that happens. Yes, I mean I'm the same way. He calls me a dude in a chick body because after I come it's like I don't want to get out of here. I'm rolling over and going. I'm done with you. Now Throw the vibrator across the room, yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm the same way. I'm totally the same way. Okay, that's it.
Speaker 2:I'm done All right, we had our fun. Now get out of here. I'm not going to go to sleep or whatever. It's funny. We tease each other about that, but that's a real thing and I had to get true for both men and women. We can get very, very, very stimulated, yes, and then when there's a release of all that, the brain gets flooded and then it drains out and that's just a physical thing that happens. So I think it just pays to be aware of that and I agree with he that very likely because of the intensity of the lockup thing, especially when you're first starting out and you don't know what to expect, I do think it's prudent to pay attention to that and be vigilant about it and not put yourself. You don't want to get depressed after what you don't want to do. You want to recognize that you enjoyed the experience. But if you understand why it happened, it's less likely to have any kind of an emotional repercussion, I think.
Speaker 1:Right and Key Barrett had some advice. He gives out advice throughout the challenge and around between I think it was like day three and day eight. He had some advice for key holders where he said it's easy for your partner to worship and be devoted to you. The hardest part sometimes is accepting the worship and acknowledging you are worthy of the worship. Do you agree? Do you think, and why is that, it could be so difficult for some women to accept worship from their partner?
Speaker 2:I do think that's the real thing and I think, it again, that's just a product of of most women have grown up in a patriarchal society where men make rules and men decide when, and men decide if and men decide how, and so women just get programmed. I think a lot of times over time that what they need or what they want doesn't matter. I mean, look at how women are so self-sacrificing for their kids. You know, women will bury their whole lives to try and help their kids. I mean, but this is the nurturing caretaker of the female and this is my sociology background talking. But I think we're caretakers. We are, we're natural caretakers, and so it's much more challenging to accept that care in return because we don't have a lot of frame of reference for it.
Speaker 2:So what I did and I, when I recognized that I was struggling with that a little bit, you know, it felt awkward to me and I don't want to feel awkward in any part of this process what I started to figure out was what kinds of things make me feel nurtured and cared for, like one of the things I love, and it's a non-sexual thing, but I love to be petted like a cat. I want, you know I want like slow stroking of my skin from top to bottom and just the sensation of that. To me that's just the thing that's really nurturing. And as I let that in, as I acknowledge that and acknowledge that that's a caring thing that he can do for me, then it switches my head around and I'm much more willing and likely to want to engage sexually. So it's worked out in my favor to identify something specific that he could do of a non-sexual nature that allows me to feel pampered and adored and that's how I like it. I like to be petted.
Speaker 2:So that might be one idea for other couples, especially for women who are unused to nurturing themselves and nurture everybody else in the universe but themselves is trying to find for yourself what is it that makes you feel cared for and nurtured? I mean I'd like him to massage, but he is just opposed to that and I've just berated him. But he can do the petting. He can do the petting. He's just not on the massage train. But okay, so we work with what we have. But I think that's the key is figure out. Women need to figure out and they need to define it and help him understand what it is that you need that just fills you up emotionally and makes you feel adored, and then it opens the door to the whole world of other possibilities. But women absolutely need to put some time and effort into that because I don't think it comes naturally to us.
Speaker 1:No, you're absolutely right about that. I always just assumed and believed that in relationships it's always a give and take and you're always meeting each other in the middle and it should be equal and it should be fair at all times. And that's what a loving relationship is all about. I mean, I never heard anything otherwise up until I found a cuckolding relationship. And then I was like this is so, seems so one sided. I was like what? But I was like that seems too good to be true. And then there was this real awkward feeling I had about it because it seemed unfair how come I get these privileges and you don't?
Speaker 2:I think even that that you just expressed Venus. I think that's evidence of the female nurturer, where we are so used to and it feels normal and natural to give to someone else, that it becomes very difficult for us to receive. It feels unnatural. And when you really get into the arena and you realize that, oh my God, humiliating this guy and tying up his little dick and depriving him of everything that he enjoys makes his heart sing, you start to get a different perspective on it. I think even that that so many women are hesitant to try cuckolding because they think it seems unfair.
Speaker 2:I'm challenged to this day. I'll post an ad somewhere for describe us as being a cuckold couple and for people who don't know that it's a one sided consensual non-monogamy I sleep with whoever I want and Richard never does. And people will still challenge you all over the place like that's the one thing and how can you do that? That's so stupid. And like, okay, you can have that opinion, but you have to take it deeper, dive into the dynamic to really understand that. And women are going to have a bigger challenge accepting that that somebody could love them and be loyal to them and they can have complete freedom. That's a much.
Speaker 2:I mean, why is it that there's probably I don't know what the numbers are probably 10,000 men who are interested in being cuckolded, to every one woman who's willing to cuckold. Yes, you know, it's very, very lopsided. It's very lopsided and I think that's a big part of the reason is that too many women think it's unfair and they don't understand. Yeah, I guess the men haven't done a very good job at expressing why they are drawn to that. Why are they drawn to it?
Speaker 2:You know what, if they would be more, if there would be more podcast or cuckold podcasts talking about what they get out of it, you know it might help bridge that gap. But those are the two big social issues. I think that for more people to embrace this that we have to sort of address, and that is, women need to learn how to receive in a much bigger way and feel good about it, and cucks need to be able to express. You know all the things that it does for them when men aren't usually quite as expressive as women. But you know that it would help other people understand if more men could.
Speaker 1:Oh, 100%. One of the things that Key Barrett talks about in the beginning of his book is recognizing the barter system. And for those of you listening who are not familiar with that, the barter system is the trading of helping somebody with tasks or doing chores or just doing something nice for somebody, with the expectation that that kind of good behavior will get you sexual gratification in some way, shape or form. And it's not. It's not written, it's not said, it's not explained. This is something that's very subvert and like and you you don't even realize that you're doing it. But the pressure, that the sex pressure is there and one of the things like it blew my mind when I first listened or read about that. So, holy fuck, you're right about that.
Speaker 1:One of the things that made me think about it a lot was when I was just talking about women, who are some women who are failing to acknowledge that they're worthy of worship from their partner. I think that's probably difficult to even imagine because that sex pressure has always been there. You know, when your partner goes down on you and eats you out, there's this understanding that he's going to get something out of that sex. You know, piv sex is going to be afterwards and he's going to come like we're both going to have orgasm and it's going to like that's just that's the way it is, but there's something for him, he's going to get something out of it and with Chastity it really takes that away. And so I, you know I could just go lay down in my bed, spread my legs open, have him come and eat my pussy until the cows come home.
Speaker 2:And we hope they never come home.
Speaker 1:And I don't give a fuck if it's a long time that he's down there and he's not going to give a fuck because he knows that there's, he's locked, he's caged, there's going to be, there's going to be no, no orgasm for him after this. This, this thing that he's doing for me, this act of worship, this, you know, worshiping my pussy, eating me out is entirely just for me, and so I think that Chastity is this amazing way to help women accept that kind of worship from their partner. And because that that barter system, sex pressure is not going to be there. It's not there. You're not going to have sex after this. You're just doing this for me.
Speaker 1:And he talks about how thrilling that is and how much of a mind fuck that is for him, which I can imagine, and and. But it also heightens his, his senses. He's listening to her more, he's paying attention to the way her body is moving and reacting more. He's really taking it all in in a way that he wouldn't be if that sex pressure barter system agreement was there. And so I'm like this is psychologically fucking fascinating. We need to have some research done on this. I think this is just so cool.
Speaker 2:It is, it really is, and so you know it gets back to that old patriarchal thing. Is that it? You know that men, you know how many men still I mean, I'm sure that you've seen it with some bulls they still approach it like, oh, what am I going to have to do in order just to get the thing I want out of this? You know you'll see that more often in the bull world, but that barter system has always been there. You know, women have been used as chattels since the beginning of time. And so you're, you're, you're going against thousands of years of human evolution where women are not chattels. They're not. They don't have to barter their sex to get food, shelter or water or whatever it is. You know it, it, you're turning the whole evolution of humanity on its head. I mean, think about how big that really is. It's big, that's big. And so for for individuals to say, is there a way that I can, I want to be able to reprogram myself from thousands of years of programming that says I need to trade my body for some benefit from a man and just disrupt that entire thing? That is so big for him, it is so big for her and it's revolutionary. And if you really want to get into the exalted relationship realm, it's got to be in this arena somewhere because I don't know how else that happens where you can completely disrupt the old rules of how it's always been, where women have to be traded or trade their sexuality for safety or comfort, and it's just really big.
Speaker 2:I mean, I think these are all the subtle psychological impacts of cuckoldry and chastity. It's a willingness on both persons' part to turn that entire mechanism on its head. And my husband is still. He's as secure a male as you will ever ever find. There isn't anything weak about him. There isn't anything. You know all the stereotypes that you might hear about cuckmails none of that is true. It's empowered him in a way. I mean it all brings him to tears when he talks about it because this us playing with this dynamic has opened him up to an entirely new world that existed within him. It just needed to be excavated. And he can do that for the females too. You know women can do that, you know, to open her up to the possibility that she is a queen, that she deserves pleasure, that she deserves comfort, that she deserves safety, and on her terms, her terms alone. You know he can play with you all night long and then you have an orgasm and roll over and go to sleep and leave him over there in his cage.
Speaker 1:And that's okay, and it's okay.
Speaker 2:Nobody's being hurt. You know there's no. You know everybody gets something out of this if they're willing to do the inner work on themselves and figure out what it is that they that really want this crime to be excavated.
Speaker 1:Do you, would you agree with the statement that cuckolding and horochacity is an act of feminism?
Speaker 2:Hmm, that is a good question. I think so. You know, I can only go from my own perspective, but it definitely was that for me, because I was in a marriage before and it was a typical monogamous. You know, I wanted to just sit in the white picket fence and the whole traditional monogamous marriage thing and what I ended up having was, you know, 10 out of 15 years was celibate. You know, he got involved in his job and traveled all the time. We just completely lost touch with each other and I thought, you know, I'm more lonely in this marriage than if I were single, and I was. I was solidly of that opinion and that's when I, you know, we ended up getting divorced and I said I will never, ever put myself in that expectation ever again that I'm going to be monogamous. If I want to experience someone else for five minutes or five years, I'm going to, and if you want to be with me, if you want to be with me, that's. Those are the ground rules.
Speaker 2:And I do think it comes out of feminism, because it requires a female that respects herself enough and knows her own hardwiring enough. And I'm not saying every female wants to be non-monogamous, that's certainly not true, but there's a whole bunch of us that do you know that we want and my husband's totally on board with that. He thinks it's ridiculous. You know, when you look at the statistics on monogamous marriages, look at our 78% failure rate. Who would buy a stock that failed 78% of the time, you know? And it it just doesn't work for a lot of people.
Speaker 2:And so finding your way with that, however it is, I think it's really important because you can be that much more loyal and that much more loving with your partner If you have a degree of I mean, that's our perspective If you have a degree of freedom in there. You know that we have tackled getting emotionally involved elsewhere. I mean, we've we've walked into the heart of the beast and and we have not found any reason not to do that. So, yeah, I think it does come out of feminism, you know, but it requires a woman who, first of all, believed that female power is a thing, that it's a good thing, that she can have female power and not destroy her relationship or the thing that she cherishes the most. I mean it requires all of that. It requires all of that.
Speaker 1:That's beautiful, I agree. Yeah, I've been thinking about that a lot lately whether whether this is an act of feminism, but I don't know that. I don't know that the intentions start out that way, but I do think that that it comes as a result for a lot of couples. But, like he Barrett's wife said, the experience is unique to each individual and each couple, so it could be different things to different people. But I do like to believe that this is about putting women in the position of power and control and allowing women to ask for what they want and get what they want. And that's been the most incredible part about this journey my journey when, since I found cuckolding is that I have come to that realization that, holy fuck, I actually can just ask for it and I say I really want you to eat my pussy until the cows come home. And voila, it fucking happened. All you got to do is ask.
Speaker 2:That's a good thing and it's I know it's ASK no, that's right, that's right. But again, you know, in fairness, you are a highly self-aware female. You've been willing to do the inner work. You, you know, and I think the women that get the most out of this when you can accept the fact that you can have everything you want and you really don't have to sacrifice the intimacy and the closeness and the safety and the stability of a good man who will stay with you even though you pursue whatever it is your heart desires. You know, a lot of women just flat don't believe that that's even possible. So it starts. It starts with that because, just like you, if you don't claim it, nobody's going to necessarily just offer that up. But the minute you say, hey, I want to come over here and eat my pussy for four hours a day and I don't want no back talk, yeah, you're going to, you're going to. You don't have a chance of getting that if you don't have the ability to ask for it. You know what I'm saying. So I think you know it.
Speaker 2:It always gets down to me. You know each of us. It behooves each of us to be as self-aware as we can, to be as emotionally intelligent about ourselves and others as we can and to work within that. Because I never, ever, dreamed I'm, I'm way more standoffish than a lot of women. I just because whatever, because I am, and I never, ever imagined the depth of the intimacy that I would experience with a male person until Richard came along. But we've built. We've built that together. We've built that together. But I never, even, because I entered this relationship not thinking that that was possible, I just thought, well, if he, if he, can agree to, just let me be, let me be free and let me hump whoever I want, we're good. You know, that's all I really need here, that's all I really need out of this deal. But, my God, we found so much more. Yeah, both of us, both of us helped so much more, yeah.
Speaker 1:We only have five minutes left, which I was hoping we would have time for questions, but we don't. So we might have to schedule another chat at some point, which I would love to do, if you would love to do that as well. But what in the last few minutes? Well, I would like, if you, if you, could just share some advice, for maybe it's a vanilla woman whose partner has said, hey, let's try chastity. I don't know much about it, you don't know much about it. Why don't we do this? What kind of advice, quick little advice, would you give Do these women who are like well, I don't know, why would I want to hold this key for you? Why would I want to do that? What would you say to them?
Speaker 2:Well, that is a topic that requires about four hours, I think you know. I think where I would start is where we started. Actually, we talked about the fundamental ideas of power exchange early on. What does he understand about it, what do I understand about it, what is his interest in it, what is my interest in it? And, starting from there, to start to figure out who is your partner really, who are you and who is your partner, because we all have a position of power in a relationship and it's up to us to define what that is. And so, starting from, I mean I'm just now I'm in a conversation with a person that we plan to meet in another month or so, who is really dominant, and I'm really not submissive, but I'm kind of interested now but that's because that's where the conversation started is.
Speaker 2:I would like to explore that possibility with somebody that I was attracted to and somebody that I trust. It starts with what is your understanding of your own power and what is your interest in it, and that might lead you somewhere. So I think it always gets back to really deep conversations, really deep conversations. Does your husband or your boyfriend? How do they feel about not being the decision maker? How do they feel about you imposing your full sexuality upon them and their job is to fulfill that? Get inside their head. That's the best thing you can do, because that will lead you somewhere. It will lead you somewhere, or at the very least, I think it will give you a place to start and from there, follow that trail. Follow that trail and you went for the females to answer for yourself.
Speaker 1:Can I?
Speaker 2:see myself holding that kind of control. What would I do with it? How would I want to play with it? What would be exciting and fun and funny, or whatever it is that you're looking for? What would that be for me? And if you explore power itself, that will lead you somewhere. And then you just be willing to be open minded and experiment, experiment. If you try something and it doesn't hit you both right, then you don't have to do it.
Speaker 2:But keep the conversation going, because power is a very compelling thing and I think there's an element of power in any kind of relationship. Who has it, who wants it, who wields it, who uses it? I think it's a big discussion, so discuss what power means to you.
Speaker 1:I love that and reach out to other women maybe women who have experience with chastity. I think if we talk to each other and listen to each other about what these experiences are like, there's a lot to learn there and it means a lot when it comes from a woman to a woman.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, and when you yeah, whether in a chat room or in a community that you might be in other women that are working in a female-led relationship or work with chastity, by all means talk to their brains, because they're bringing their experience to the table and you can learn and take what suits you and leave the rest. That's just how we go.
Speaker 1:Yes, absolutely Okay. It's been an hour already. I can't believe it. Time flies, I do.
Speaker 1:I know when did that time go? I have no idea, but I have thoroughly enjoyed this conversation. I do need to wrap this up, crystal. This has been really great. I hope to have another discussion with you at some point. We will, yeah for sure. All right, that's going to be it for today's chat regarding key holding with my lovely friend, crystal Welch. Thank you to everybody who has popped in on the Mone app to listen in for this chat today Really appreciate it. Have a great rest of your day and thank you so much, crystal, and thank you to you, it was just a pleasure.
Speaker 2:Bye, everybody.
Speaker 1:Thanks for joining me today. Make sure you go to venuscuckledrisscom. That's where you can book a private chat with me, you can check out any cuckolding events that might be happening, and you can even ask a question for the show, as well as, of course, join the Queens Quarters fan club and get all the benefits for that. You can also follow me on Instagram, the Venus Cuckoldriss podcast. I haven't been banned there, while I have, but not recently. You can also follow me on Twitter or whatever the fuck you want to call it. My handle is at cuckoldrissv. That's it for today. I'll see you next time.