The Venus Cuckoldress Podcast
The Venus Cuckoldress Podcast
Popping the Cuck Cherry
Ruby joins the show to share her story of embracing the cuckolding lifestyle from the onset of her relationship with her now husband, including a fresh lens on open communication and shared desires. Unlike many who weave these dynamics in later, her story reveals the power of honesty and compatibility from the start.
Links
Ruby's Twitter: https://x.com/LifeOfaHotwife
Read Venus's contribution to the Savage Love Column - https://mailchi.mp/savage.love/jan011325-column?e=a0d21cabdb
Join the 2 Week Locked-In Love Challenge with Venus & Key Barrett, MSc - https://www.venuscuckoldress.com/offers/FTNWndiv/checkout
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Here's what's coming up on the show.
Speaker 1:And he was like you know, I would really kind of love if I had someone who just wanted to go out and just live like the lifestyle that you live, but just like come home to me and I'm like what do you mean? This is impossible. And he just like came in and was like this is okay, like you can do this and still be a great mother and still be a great coworker and still be a great friend and still be a great partner. And I could see her up thinking about it and so be a great you know all of that and still have this satisfaction and this connection. That almost makes me feel almost sad. Like when I see other couples. I'm like you should have this.
Speaker 1:It was exhilarating, it was very surreal and I truly I tell him to this day I'm like I really don't think that you thought I would really do like go for this. And so I told him like you know, we're gonna set something up. We got a hotel room and we found a couple people and I mean I just kind of let go of my inhibitions and by the end of it he we both were like yes, I want this. The look in his face like when he's like holy shit. This is happening like this, you know, like he's, you know, just surrounded by you, getting like immersed in all of this dick and he's just like holy shit this is the venus cuckoldress podcast a place to learn all things cuckolding for the curious, for the passionate and for the sexually empowered woman who wants it all.
Speaker 2:Let's go hello everybody. Welcome to the show. I'm your host, venus, and this is season five of the venus cuckoldress podcast. Yes, it's been five years since I launched this show and I kind of launched it on a whim. I didn't really think about it a lot. I was like sure I'm going to do this and look at it now. It's amazing. It's one of the most popular shows, I think, in the world and it's just. It just blows my mind. It's been an amazing, amazing journey. So thank you so much for listening in and being a fan and joining me along this way. So it's also marks.
Speaker 2:This year marks 10 years since I first learned about cuckolding relationships and developed this passion for talking about, learning about this kind of relationship. A decade has gone by and, wow, I have learned so much. I continue to learn so much. Today's episode is another really interesting story. I have a woman by the name of Ruby who's joining the show and her story is a little bit different the story of her and her husband. So most of the time when I talk to couples who are into cuckolding. They've been together, married together for a long time and then, you know, one day decided that they were going to go down this road together and try out cuckolding. But that's not the case with this couple. This couple kind of like dove right into it from the get go that this was something that they talked about and decided to do right in the beginning and then of course, decided you know that you know things were great and they were going to get married and they've been married now for a little while and their relationship is evolving. But I think that is so interesting and so unique and I don't know a lot of couples who've done it that way. So I hope it's a trend. I hope that this is more of a thing that people can be open and honest about their desires right in the beginning, when they first meet somebody and decide if they're compatible that way. Who knows? But anyway, it's a great episode for singles and couples to have a listen to Lots of great perspective, lots of great advice and for the guys pay attention to the way that he brought this up to her, because I found this really, really interesting.
Speaker 2:Before we get started. I just have a couple of announcements, the first one being the two-week Locked in Love Chastity Challenge. I've done this challenge with Kee Barrett each year for a few years now and it is so much fun. So it starts on February 1st, it ends on Valentine's Day, february 14th, and this is a special challenge for couples who have maybe thought about doing chastity, maybe talked about it or are curious to learn about it, and this is your opportunity to really give it a try and see how it goes. So if you want to participate, you can join us in the Queens Quarters community. That's on venuscuckoldresscom. The link if you want to join is in the show notes, for today it's free and there's a place in there where, in that community where you can be chatting about it with others as well, and Keith Barrett, who is the author of one of my absolute favorite books called Locked in Love, and he is going to be doing some live chats with me.
Speaker 2:That's going to be February 3rd and February 10th they're both Mondays and that'll be happening at 6pm Pacific Time, that's 9pm Eastern, and that's going to happen in the Queens quarters. There'll be a link where you can join us for that, for those live chats. We're going to be talking about how it's going in the two week chastity challenge and we'll be there to help answer any questions that you might have and you can share how it's going for you at that time and on February 1st. So mark your calendars for for this one. You're not going to want to miss the show on that day because on February 1st I have a special chastity episode that's going to be airing and it's going to be with the founder of kink 3d. Kink 3d does the most amazing chastity cages. You probably heard of them already. They're wildly popular and they have amazing chastity cages. So I have the founder of King3D that's going to join me on the show and talk all about chastity. So don't miss that one airing on February 1st. If you belong to one of the Helpful Cuck or Friends with Benefits tiers on venuscuckledresscom to support the show, then you will get access, early access to that episode that normally comes out on February 1st. You'll get a few days earlier.
Speaker 2:And last but not least, big shout out to Dan Savage for giving me the opportunity to chime in on his hugely popular sex advice column, savage Love. I wrote a little piece about cuck angst and so I'm always so happy to be a part of that. So thank you, dan, for that. I'll put a link to it in the show notes for today. I don't know if you guys know, but way back in 2009, that's when I was reading Savage Love every Thursday in an office with a bunch of girls and we would read this. We'd sit around the lunch table and we would read Savage Love in the Georgia Straight newspaper and that's how I learned about kink and non-monogamy, like I basically hugely opened my eyes to things that I had no idea even existed, and that was really the beginning of the journey for me to learn about different kinds of relationships. So thank you, dan, for that, because I wouldn't be here doing this today if it wasn't for you. Okay, that's it for announcements. Let's get into the show after this quick message.
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Speaker 2:Okay, joining me on the show? I have such a wonderful guest. I'm really excited about this. Her name is Ruby and she is a queen of spades, cuckoldress, and she's here to share her story. Say hello to all of the listeners. Ruby, hello, it's good to be here. Yeah, I'm so excited to have you share your story because, like, I've talked to a lot of guys, but I don't always get the opportunity to talk to a lot of women, to get the female perspective, and so I'm so excited to have you share your story on the show. So let's dive into it. You are married, right? How long have you been married for? Yes, two years, okay. And how long have you known each other for?
Speaker 1:Well, we've had mutual friends, so we really kind of knew of each other for longer than we've known each other, but I would say probably closer to three. We really dove right into it.
Speaker 2:Okay, and how did this all start with you, guys?
Speaker 1:Well, I was kind of living all start with you guys. Well, I was kind of living more of a promiscuous lifestyle at the time. I wasn't very shameful, but I wasn't very bold and proud. I hadn't explored any of this type of dynamic before, but I really was just kind of doing my own thing and he was kind of the initiator, actually. We kind of just talked a little bit through social media and before we knew it he was like you know, I would really kind of love if I had someone who just wanted to go out and just live like the lifestyle that you live. But just like, come home to me and I'm like what do you mean? This is impossible.
Speaker 1:Like a a dream and he was like well, you know, maybe it's not, and I'm like, well you know, maybe it's not. Here we are, um four years later. So we really just uh, we kind of talked for a few months and we ended up meeting on Halloween um a few years ago, and I mean it really just fell into place. Honestly, we both, our desires and our wants in all aspects, even outside of sexuality, were very, very aligned. So I feel like we've both been able to really blossom in this type of dynamic since then as far as discovering new things that we, you know, like and want to explore.
Speaker 2:So he brought this up right away when you guys were just oh wow, that doesn't happen very often. How bold right Most guys are too scared.
Speaker 1:No, he is not scared, not scared, and I love that is not scared, not scared, and I love that.
Speaker 2:That is amazing. So he wanted you. This is so similar to like how I was introduced to it too, because like my first boyfriend. Yeah, I was on a dating app and I was like I have no intention of being monogamous, like I'm not fucking one dick yes, literally I was like I'm not settling for shit yeah, and he was. He must have been like oh, that sounds promising, like maybe she would like this kind of relationship right, and so he.
Speaker 2:He was like he brought it up and that's how he kind of brought it up to me too, where he was like I want you to still be able to live this life that you're living, where you fucking all these dudes and like but I want to date you as well.
Speaker 1:And I was like what Right? Like I'm like, hold on, because, see, the thing is is, if you ask any of my best friends I've been saying this for years I'm like if only I could just have someone that could just love me and let me just do my own thing and just know, like that they can be secure in that and I can still do my own thing. Like why can't, why can't you? And that was before I even knew that this type of relationship even existed. And then, whenever it was brought to me, I was like this is a setup, this, this is suspicious. And so I kind of called his bluff. I was like, oh really, you think you can handle this?
Speaker 2:I love that so much because that, like the way that he way that that's introduced to a woman, is not like in a very kink way.
Speaker 1:It's not a BDSM way, it's not it has to almost be emotional yeah, it's not like I really want to watch you do this and do this to me and I I can't give you what you need, it's not objectifying and I I I feel like that could be a common misconception that it's very easy for women specifically to feel objectified by kinky talk or this type of dynamic, like like kink dispensing or something like that. But if it happens to excite you, then maybe you should dig a little deeper and see if there's something there for you. That's kind of stoking the fire right, yeah, so when, okay.
Speaker 2:So he brought this up to you and you were like, were like, oh my God, like what's the catch?
Speaker 1:Truly, I was like what's the catch?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that is such a common reaction that women have where they're like. This sounds too good to be true. It can't be real.
Speaker 1:Like when's the other shoe going to drop. Like once I actually do this, you're going to be like hold up. No, I changed my mind. And then I'm going to be like, oh my God, you know, and feel ashamed or something, when I really shouldn't, and I'm thankful that it hasn't happened.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, maybe we just naturally as women we go, we go there in our minds thinking like this is a trick, like he must want to sleep with other women or something like that, because it must have something to do with the fact that we're kind of programmed to think that everything has to be equal and fair. So if you're getting this privilege of being able to have these other extra experiences with other people, it would be kind of mean to not allow your partner to do that.
Speaker 1:It is mean to not allow your partner to do that, but that's kind of the fun of it, isn't it?
Speaker 2:I know it's so funny. You say that because I'm like it's the unfairness of it, that's hot, it's a little fun. It is like I'm getting this and you're not kind of fun little taunting, teasing thing. That's a thing.
Speaker 1:That's a thing for us, that I'm getting this and you're not. That's definitely a thing.
Speaker 2:But at the same time it is so a two-way street, he's getting so much out of it, even though he's somewhat denied.
Speaker 1:Well, something that I've said I've said this for a very long time prior to this type of lifestyle was a very submissive type of person and my sexuality, as opposed to in this dynamic, I'm much more dominant and I get to embody that side of my personality which is very, very there. I'm very outspoken, I'm very bubbly, and so I kind of took on more of the submissive dynamic prior to dynamic prior to. And I've always told him the submissive truly has the power, because they're the one that is giving that to you and if they say no, you have to stop, and so they're the ones that kind of hold that, that key to to the door you know that of that expansion. So it absolutely takes two and you have to be willing to take that opinion into all of it. Mm, hmm.
Speaker 2:So interesting that you said this kind of relationship has kind of brought out the more dominant side in you. Or I did, and I found the same in my own experience. It was just truly divine. It nurtures the empowerment within you, yes, gives you access to like a level of confidence I feel like it's it's, it's brought me.
Speaker 1:I feel like I've kind of been stuck at the door of this level of confidence and I could kind of peek in through the keyhole and like kind of see what was going on a little bit there and he just like came in and was like this is okay, like you can do this and still be a great mother and still be a great co-worker and still be a great friend and still be a great partner, and I could tear up thinking about it and still be a you know all of that and still have this satisfaction and this connection. That almost makes me feel almost sad. Like when I see other couples. I'm like you should have this. You just don't even know what you're missing out on.
Speaker 1:Y'all Like my co-workers anytime. I mean I have friends that you know they say certain things about, like you know their relationships and oh, he thinks I'm talking to this person. I'm like could never be me. Y'all just don't know what y'all could have and I don't. I understand it's not for everyone and I won't even say that it takes a special person to do it, because it's not that one is better than the other, but it takes a certain type of mindset to be able to have that level of trust and understanding and loyalty, to be able to explore the other side and know, okay, this person is not going to love anyone else or betray me. It's very multifaceted and it's a learning process.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so you guys jumped in right away. This is fascinating to me. He brought this up right away, but you started out as like the stag vixen dynamic, I'm assuming because you said you were more on like the submissive natured side in the beginning and that's where your comfort zone was right which he does have a dominant side to him as well.
Speaker 1:So in that way we can both kind of be a little switchy, which I'm thankful for, because there's times that we both cater to that certain side. But overall I think he very much had an idea of how it was going to go, just based off of, maybe, my answers and maybe him having a better understanding of the lifestyle due to that being things that he wanted to explore. You know, maybe he had I think he had done a little bit more research than I had at that time, but he was never pushy.
Speaker 2:So you guys jumped in very quickly and obviously this seemed to fit like who you are and what you enjoy and stuff like that. But was there any downside to jumping in so quick together in the beginning of your relationship?
Speaker 1:Honestly, I really can't think of anything, and that's not to be too kind or anything, I'm really racking my brain. But I think that because the fact that him and I were so upfront and direct about what we were looking for, what excited us, what we were seeking to bring out of ourselves and bring out within a partnership, I think we kind of evaded a lot of those negative aspects of it, which I know we're very lucky for. Something I will say which I feel like is probably a commonality is that I feel like we both have had like are you sure that I'm not persuading you that this is what you want, that we're not, you know, pressuring each other and we both are very much like no, that's not the case. I would tell you, if I didn't want to do it, we very much have a. We can call this off at any time.
Speaker 1:Either one of us, if one of us, said like no, we're done, we're done, and that there's no question about it. Like what caused this? Who did it? What? Whose fault? That's not the. The issue and I think that takes a lot of precedence and they're not being negativities is we don't have a lot of who's to blame or who's the root of what we want to do this and we are excited about it and even though I'm the one that kind of narrates how it goes, necessarily it's definitely a unified dynamic and I think that alleviates a lot of the negativities that you may find in this type of situation.
Speaker 2:What was it like when you first actually cucked him or like slept with another guy or whatever like in your relationship together? What was that like for you?
Speaker 1:It was exhilarating, it was very surreal. So our very first encounter was probably about a month after we actually met in person. We've been talking for a little while. We kind of had these ideas and I truly I tell him to this day I'm like I really don't think that you thought I would really do like go for this. And so I told him I was like you know, we're going to set something up. We got a hotel room.
Speaker 1:It was around, it was around Christmas time, it was in December, about two or three years, three years ago. And you know, we got, we found a couple of people and there was like two or three people there and I mean I just, I mean I just kind of let go of my inhibitions and by the end of it we both were like yes, I want this. It was just I can't even explain it. It's hard to put words to it. I mean truly I fell in love with this man. He was like you can have whatever you want and I'll love you for it. And I mean just I don't. I'm sure that there's other like hot wives and cook holders that can understand. I'm sure you can like the look in his face Like when he's like holy shit, this is happening Like this, you know, like you know, just surrounded by you, getting like immersed in all of this dick, and he's just like getting like immersed in all of this dick and he's just like holy shit and it's great.
Speaker 2:Was that his first time getting cucked ever? Or yes, he had a girlfriend before. Oh yes, wow, yes.
Speaker 1:So we both really he had these desires, but he these desires were never acted upon or brought to life before we brought them to life. So he likes to say there was very specific boxes that needed to be checked and I happened to check them.
Speaker 2:Oh, so you guys popped each other's cherry, that's awesome.
Speaker 1:Absolutely yes, we did.
Speaker 2:And afterwards I'm assuming, like you felt that kind of cloud, nine high together, of like, oh my gosh absolutely, and I feel like it's something that we maintain, which is amazing.
Speaker 1:I feel like it has such a, it brings such a closeness and such a connection that's very, it's very deep it's. It's a vulnerability that is not easy to do. Even though I may make it sound easy and you know it's Latin, you know I'm laughing and and you know, kind of chatting with you it's definitely vulnerable and it's not easy to say, okay, I'm gonna do this and just hope that they'll be okay with it, say, okay, I'm going to do this and just hope that they'll be okay with it, you know, and vice versa. So I think that it's definitely an exploration.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I felt I feel like the kind of vulnerability that you're talking about in within a cuckolding relationship is it feels as uncomfortable, as like if you could imagine like being emotionally naked in front of somebody, like quite, yeah, difficult, but like worth it but absolutely worth it and I would.
Speaker 1:I would say that any day, all day, to anyone that would listen. Yeah, truly, um, it's, it's something you know, like you said, it's not easy, it takes some work and it takes some emotional vulnerability and kind of bearing it all, but the it's very fruitful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, so now you guys, you, so you jumped in stag vixen, you've popped each other's cuck cherry, you're just all in. This is amazing, this is great. How has it evolved since then?
Speaker 1:since then it's evolved to more of a one-sided open relationship where we, we pray, we play, um, you know, pretty, I would say, at least once a month, as of right now. Sometimes there are intermittent breaks, you know, due to life in general, but we both have very much decided that we want to see where it goes and keep on exploring Um. So we've talked about going, um, you know, to different um, um, like keto and like splash mocha. You know different things like that and exploring, you know, deeper into the lifestyle, which I would love to do. Both of those things, um, very much so, um, but it really we're focused right now on just maintaining balance of of this aspect of our lives and our everyday lives.
Speaker 2:That's that's probably what I would say is the most important to me currently is is the balance, you know, making sure that all of those other sides are heard, but we still get to explore, you know, the fun side those other sides are heard, but we still get to explore, you know, the fun side yeah, I've heard that from a lot of couples fairly new couples in the lifestyle, ones who really jump in, you know, headfirst, with gusto and but that you need that maintaining balance is a big challenge, or it can be a big challenge and taking breaks is sometimes necessary. And I get that. I mean it is very fun, it is very thrilling, but it's only part of real life.
Speaker 1:Right Right, which we have explored multiple different dynamics. As far as you know, there was a time that we, you know, didn't, we weren't really active and we, you know, we're a little more celibate on both sides and really focused on what we wanted to grow within ourselves and each other, outside of sexuality. And then, once we felt a little more secure in that, you know, we felt comfortable to dive back in and that's really broadened um our horizons. As far as um what I've done and encounter experiences that I've had, which is great. Sorry, I was thinking I was reminiscing on New Year's, which was quite fun.
Speaker 1:Did you have a really great time with somebody on New Year's? I did. I did Multiple someones. Actually we ended up last minute getting a hotel room and it was in the downtown area of a local city. They kind of have a firework show and you know kind of stuff going on and you know we hadn't gone out in a while. So I was really excited. I got all dressed up and I have a regular friend who was actually there at the cherry popping. He was actually one of the first people that I was with and, and he's great, we've really both become friends with him and we got him to come out and got someone else to come out. I mean it was great. We definitely marked some some Definitely mark some checks off the bucket list.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, that's awesome. Sometimes, the most impromptu play sessions are the best. All right. Now you've decided to have only Black men as your lovers. Is that correct? You're now a queen of spades. That is correct. So was it like that from the beginning, or no?
Speaker 1:No, it wasn't. I didn't really have a lot of preferences because I hadn't explored this dynamic. I was pretty open and once we started exploring, it turns out I'm definitely a size queen, so black guys tend to fit the bill a little bit better.
Speaker 2:How did that happen? How did you move into becoming a queen of spades? Was that something that you initiated? That was your idea, or was this something that your husband wanted?
Speaker 1:I would say it was very mutual. I don't. I don't know that I can really remember who initiated it, but I'm sure at one point or another one of us had mentioned it, and I'm I'm definitely a bigger is better type of lady. So I let him know that from the beginning, which I mean he is not small by any means, but still it's not the same.
Speaker 2:I get it. And so what? How has that been for you? I mean, other than just like size being you know your size queen, but like how's that been for you just having black bulls, it's been very good.
Speaker 1:Um, I'm, I'm very sexual, so I love giving head, I love giving oral, I love receiving oral, like I could be eaten out for hours, like I absolutely love that. So I love, um, I like a little bit of like the nasty freakiness and I can get that a little bit more in that dynamic which I appreciate. I just feel like my inhibitions are a little a little more. They're not so tight on me, they're a little more in the background whenever I feel like I can just kind of be myself and not be so scrutinized. I don't know, maybe that's the maybe that's part of the allure is that I find a lot of black bullies are really open to that dynamic of cucking another guy. They kind of get like a masculinity power trip out of it sometimes which kind of turns me off.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know what you mean and with a lot of the black guys that who I've met, I've asked them like how come you really enjoy fucking white women? And so many have said that it's because they, it's the white women are just like so freaky and like so fun Like they're like I can't get that with.
Speaker 1:I've been told that that I'm like very fun and very freaky and I don't. I don't necessarily feel like I'm out of the box per se, but I guess I don't have much comparison. I just do what seems fun, and I mean maybe giving guys the head in a parking lot across the street from the hotel is fun.
Speaker 2:Yep, I've been there too.
Speaker 1:I can't believe this is my life Living the dream Really. I can't believe this is my life Living the dream Really.
Speaker 2:You've obviously had the opportunity to really first to learn about this kind of relationship and it exists and then to experience it yourself and understand what the benefits have been for you and for your relationship. But it's what I have found to be a little bit disappointing in this lifestyle is how much of it is so male driven and like so the female not just the female perspective, but the female fantasy aspect of the female desire. Part of it is so muted, muffled or just not not existing in some parts, not spoken on, yeah, and so like what do you think needs to change? Or or like how how do we fix that Cause? It's frustrating to me and it must be for you too. Yeah.
Speaker 1:It is. It is frustrating to me and I think a lot of it has to do with that feeling of security from your partner. I think that's essential, which you've talked about before, that women won't know about this if you're not willing to kind of put it out there that this type of relationship is a possibility for them. A possibility for them. I would say that's definitely an integral aspect of me being willing to be in this type of dynamic or explore this type of relationship, because I don't know that I would have ever felt so confident in the moment to say to a guy like hey, how would you feel about this? So it definitely eases it some when the man kind of approaches it, but I understand how nerve wracking that can be.
Speaker 1:I think us, as you know, cuckoldresses, hot wives, you know, in this lifestyle almost have a duty to be a little more outspoken about it, to kind of help bridge the gap and and let people say okay, if I say this, it's not so bad, I can still be a good person, a good friend, a good parent, a good coworker, you know, et cetera, et cetera, and but also I can still embrace this side of my sexuality that it excites me and brings me to a deeper understanding of myself that I didn't think was possible.
Speaker 1:Everyone deserves that and it it's much deeper than just, oh, hot, kinky, dirty sex Like it's. That's not all of it, and I think that gets you know, such a big screen over everything else and everything else just kind of falls to the preview status when really it's not the case. All of that, that background, is essential to being able to explore that. So I think us just being you know, able and willing to talk about it and share it and say, hey, you can explore this and there are people out there that like this and you know you don't have to settle is really the way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can have your cake and eat it too, if that's what you want and what you would enjoy. I know what you mean and I love the fact that you said that we kind of have a duty to be able to have to be more loud about this than the guys, because we're just muffled or like it's just quiet out there when it comes to the women. But I would say women are killing it on OnlyFans. When it comes to cuckolding stuff, Like in that aspect, women are loud and it is out there and that is great and everything like that. But when it comes to having these real kind of honest discussions about what it's been like for you know, the less shiny, less sexy, less thrilling kind of aspect, of it, which is the nurturing, which is the rewarding, that kind of like next level love, trust and connection.
Speaker 2:part of it. That that's the part that I think women are speaking to. That, like you said, like everything else, all the hot, sexy, thrilling part just gets like it's so loud and it's so out there and it's so male driven but like and it's attention.
Speaker 1:I mean you hear that and that's what you gravitate to. And it's so easy to gravitate to that just because it's not as talked about relationship that it exists, but also for the men.
Speaker 2:It's beneficial for more women. It benefits them if more women are out there learning about it, being curious about it, not being judgmental about it, understanding it from a different point of view, other than the porn memes and the porn scripts yes, that's exactly it.
Speaker 1:It definitely takes a deeper understanding and getting away from like this stereotypical of what a cook should be or what a cook is, as opposed to what it actually is. I mean, my husband is a very attractive man. He very easily could get a date whenever he wanted if he wanted to. He definitely has charisma to date, and whenever he wanted if he wanted to, um, he definitely has charisma. Um, you know. So it's not. It's not that type of dynamic, but it's also the dynamic that his wife can get whoever she wants whenever she wants, and it definitely falls into that hot wifing. You know pride aspects of it that that it doesn't have to be dampening to your self-esteem to like being a cuck.
Speaker 2:Yes, well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about, because, when it comes to misconceptions about this kind of relationship, the fantasy around or the desire, or that kind of cuck angsty feeling around, feeling like you're not a good enough as a lover, therefore your wife needs to go and have better dick that's like such a common theme and, and, uh, like a lot of guys out there, just assume that that's the motivation behind it for us, that you know, I don't. You know I don't want to just fuck that one dick forever, but I don't want to just fuck that one dick forever. It's not very good. I need more, I need better. That's not the case for a lot of women who I've spoken to.
Speaker 2:This is more about, like you said, your husband. He's attractive, he's sexy, he's fun, he's got charisma, he's got game. He's got game. He's not small in size. This isn't about him not being enough. This is about you having more, more. Yes, yeah, not because it's from a place of deficiency like he's just he can't give you what you need. It's from a place of abundance, yes, yes. And so I want those people who are listening right now to understand that the motivation behind why women want or love. This kind of relationship is wide and varied and that this cuckolding from an abundance kind of mindset is more common and should be given more credit than it's been given been given Definitely.
Speaker 1:And to speak a little bit further into that is even like the humiliation aspects are also very similar, like there are ways to go about that without being dampening to your self-esteem. You know they're like in our dynamic. There's definitely like aspects of humiliation beside, you know, within the cuckolding, and even still he's a confident man. It's just, you know, he's weak when I'm embodying that, that femininity, that power, that that just it just kind of takes hold and goes on its own thing and it's just very powerful and beautiful and he loves that and he wants to embrace that and help me embrace that. And it's empowering and it makes me see him as more of a man and as a higher intellectual level.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah. Crystal Welch says cucks are a higher life form. That's what she said.
Speaker 1:Truly truly.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, she's right, and Dr Justin Lee Miller, who wrote the book Tell Me what you Want, interviewed thousands, or a lot of people in the United States regarding their sexual fantasies, and what he found was that for people who desire or fantasize about cuckolding, they actually have higher levels of self-esteem than average people.
Speaker 1:I have read that yeah.
Speaker 2:This idea that cucks are weak and that they're trying to make up for some lack of confidence is just absurd.
Speaker 1:I absolutely agree and I understand how that could be stereotypical. But I definitely want to help just kind of shatter that whole stigma because, like I said, I mean in my experience which my husband is the only man I've ever cucked and will be the only man I've probably ever cucked I don't plan on that, but I'm sure that a lot of other women can speak to this that their pleasure is in you getting your deepest desires and feeling that power and feeling that confidence and feeling like your head is high and you're walking in and that is just your room and they're all there for you and you're the star. You know that's what they want, they, they want they. It's like a gift giving.
Speaker 2:acts of service, love, language such a pure four, I know, and we're so lucky to have them like so lucky.
Speaker 1:Best I tell them all the time that I'm really the lucky one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's see, that's what people don't understand about this kind of relationship, because they can't get past the unfairness part of it. They're like, but he doesn't, you know, that's so mean, he doesn't get, and I'm very thankful for it.
Speaker 1:I said this to him today. I was like you know, I'd be foolish to think that there weren't women that flirted with you or found you attractive, but it's just not something that comes across my mind like people finding me attractive. I just know he wouldn't reciprocate, it wouldn't be anything like that. He truly has eyes for me and I know that, and that definitely makes a difference.
Speaker 2:Yeah, all right, we don't have a lot of time left before we wrap up. Is there any kind of like final thoughts or things that you want to talk about?
Speaker 1:I really I just I can't say enough how much I want to get out there, how amazing the dynamic is, not just on the sexuality aspect but just on a personal and emotional and mental aspect of exploring yourself and finding those those deeper things that maybe you didn't think you would ever be able to explore. And being able to explore them with someone else is just such a fruitful gift that everyone should be so lucky to have, and I'm just overwhelmed with the opportunities that it's brought to me. I really can do nothing but advocate for it and I just want to bring educational awareness and unbiased awareness to how great it can be on both sides, you know, for men and for women, and how you can. You can truly have it all. It doesn't mean that your life has to be filled with sex crazed fantasies. You can still do your everyday life, but you can explore this side of yourself without feeling ashamed.
Speaker 2:Are you going to be writing a blog?
Speaker 1:I am, I am working on a blog. It will be probably coming out, hopefully by the end of the month is what I'm aiming for and it's really going to be based on a lot of what I was saying, just a lot of female perspective, a lot of educational awareness and, you know, sharing my experiences and putting it out there for what you know what type of fun can be had. I want to explore some of the risque sides of, you know, storytelling and maybe not safer work sides of storytelling, but I want to help women and men feel comfortable and as embodied as I feel comfortable and as embodied as I feel, all right.
Speaker 1:Before we go. Where can people learn more about you? Currently I have a Twitter account, which is Life of a Hot Wife, and definitely no white guys, only black guys are allowed to DM me. It's in my bio, so just read it. I have plenty that are like oh, can I be your cook? Oh, will you make an exception for me? I'm so sorry. No, if that makes me mean that just fits the repertoire right.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, I know, I know, but at some point we have to get you on on blue sky, because I'm not even on Twitter anymore and it's okay, I'll have to make the move.
Speaker 1:I'll make it for you.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yes. Well, thank you so much for coming on the show and sharing your story. It's been so great to get to know you, ruby, thank you.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much, Venus. I appreciate the opportunity. It was such a pleasure. I enjoyed it so much.
Speaker 2:That's going to be it for today's episode. Thank you so much for joining me. Make sure you go to venuscuckoldresscom. That's where you can book a private chat with me, and you can also join the Queens Quarters community and get all the amazing benefits, like the private podcast and the helpful Cuck tier, where you can get key holding for the private Snapchat group, monthly private chats with me and weekly live hangouts and invites to special live events. Oh, and you can also submit a question or a confession for the show. Just go to venuscuckledresscom and click on the link that says the podcast. Make sure you follow me on Blue Sky Social. Yes, I said Blue Sky Social. Fuck Twitter. My handle there is at Cuckoldress V. All right, that's it for today's show. You guys, we'll see you next time.