Cheaters: Can Cuckolding Work After Cheating?

Confession Time!

What happens when a husband discovers he's powerfully turned on by his wife's infidelities? Can he steer her down the cuckolding road and have his deepest fantasies come true?

Or is the relationship doomed to fail from inadequate communication, broken trust, and unresolved infidelity?

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Transcript

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Introduction to Today’s Theme

Speaker 1 1:13

This is the Venus Cuckoldress podcast , a place to learn all things cuckolding for the curious , for the passionate and for the sexually empowered woman who wants it all . Let's go . Hello everyone , I'm your host , venus . Thanks for joining me today . Today we're going to talk about cheaters Yep , cheaters . I know I talk about modern cuckolding as more of a journey that you go on together . It's consensual . There's no cheating . This is about sharing experiences and love together and all that good stuff . Okay , but I am aware that occasionally , desires around cuckolding are born within a traumatic experience where one person cheats . I've heard it before and I probably will continue to hear about this happening . Now , today's confession is going to talk about just that and I'm going to talk a little bit about whether or not this can actually work . It's a fascinating subject and I'm sure you're going to come away with it with some new insight , maybe some questions , and if you want to join in on the conversation around cheating and cuckolding , you can join the Queens Quarters community . That's where we talk about all things cuckolding and you can get free , limited access . Just look for the link . The link is in the show notes for today's episode . Just look for the link . The link is in the show notes for today's episode , and if you want to submit your own confession , question or comment for the show , you can go to venuscuckledresscom , click on the podcast and there'll be a link there for you to . Just all you have to do is press a button and you've got up to five minutes to record and it might use it for the show . All right , before we jump into the show today , I just want to say that I did go live on Instagram recently and I have officially launched my newest project called Venus Eclipse Events . It's going to be beautiful venues for cuckolding interracial cuckolding experiences and it's going to be amazing . So if you want to learn more , get on the list . You can go to venuscuckledresscom the link is there or you can go to venuseclipsecom to learn a little bit more information and get on the list for these events . You can also find the link in the show notes for today's episode . That's it for announcements . Now let the link in the show notes for today's episode . That's it for announcements . Now let's jump into the show .

Speaker 1 4:03

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Speaker 2 5:42

I guess I just wanted to confess that I really want my wife to cuckold me . So I think about two years into our marriage she cheated on me for several months . Cheated on me for several months and after finding out , like I was just so turned on . The idea of her um sucking this guy's dick , you know , taking his cock , like um , just the idea of her cheating on me turned me on so much . And then I found out I had to kind of be um , just , you know , obviously outraged . I was hurt because she , you know , emotionally , but like I , was so turned on and then we didn't really do therapy or anything , so we just tried to sweep it under the rug .

Speaker 2 6:41

All this time I was like getting super into chastity and jerking off to um sissy porn and um , then she cheated on me again , um , this guy , for a couple months , um met him at hotels , fucked him several times , sucked his dick she never , never gives me oral , but she sucked him off , fucked him a bunch of times , and so finally , like it came out and I was just I was so fucking turned on , but I was again really hurt and so we've still been together and then , like in the past year I finally opened up that like at the time I was mostly hurt emotionally , but now , like I've I've admitted that like at the time I was super turned on . Like whenever she admitted that she fucked him I was just like , oh my God , I want , I want to be inside you . So bad , like it made me want her to like deny me pleasure is the idea that another guy got to fuck her and was inside her pussy and you know she sucked his , sucked his dick . Even just confessing this now turns me on and at the time I just really wanted to reclaim her . So she didn't really get that at first .

Speaker 2 8:12

But now we've started getting more into chastity play and sometimes she locks me up and I've kind of confessed that the idea of reclaiming her turns me on and so she's kind of started using that jokingly every once in a while as dirty talk . But yeah , I feel kind of like we're moving in that direction . She didn't like the chastity at first . Then now she's like pretty turned on by the idea of being in control of my dick and so , yeah , um see where it goes first of all , I want to say thank you to this guy for calling in and leaving his confession .

Speaker 1 9:48

This is a topic I've been wanting to talk about for a long time because over the many years that I've been talking about cuckolding , talking to couples and learning about this lifestyle , I have heard this often , where the cuckold thing stems from or was born from an episode of cheating , where she cheated on him and he was , oddly enough , turned on by it .

Speaker 1 10:16

And the story that I usually hear is you know , I had a girlfriend in college and she cheated on me and I was really upset and we broke up and it didn't work out . But afterwards I was really turned on by it and that's kind of how I figured out . I knew that I was into this kind of thing . I hear that often , and sometimes I do hear about instances like this where it's cheating within a marriage , and it does get me wondering can this actually work or is this doomed to fail ? And so I'm going to talk a little bit about this confession , this story about him and his wife and she cheated and they didn't do any therapy , upset with her and being emotionally devastated by what had happened until he finally sort of told her a little bit about how he was feeling and now he wants her to full on cuck him . And there's some problems , I see , about this story there's lots of things I don't know and I should just say that straight off the bat . I don't know why she cheated . He didn't say in the confession why she cheated or if she gave any reason as to why she cheated . Maybe she wasn't happy in her marriage . Maybe she just is really not good at monogamy and she's cheated with every guy that she's ever been with and it's been a real struggle for her to not cheat . I don't know . I don't have the answers to that question . I also don't know how she felt about cheating . Did she feel guilty ? Did she feel awful ? Did she feel like she fucked up her marriage ? Did she , you know , have all sorts of shame around that ? Did she , you know , I feel like it was the worst thing that she could have done and that she was a terrible wife for it ? Or did she just kind of roll off her back ? She'd be like you know what happened . I'm sorry , all of those things . I don't know the answer to that question .

Speaker 1 12:22

I also don't know if she understands why he's turned on by this . So he finally admitted to her that this was a big turn on to him , but he didn't mention what , how . You know what she thought . He just said she didn't really understand it , but she did . He didn't say whether , you know , this was something that she was just curious to learn more about or if she was just like , oh fuck , no , or that's weird , that's gross , I don't understand it . So I don't have all of the answers . So , having you know , in talking about this story , just know that I wish I had more information , but I don't . I'm just going to go off what I know .

Speaker 1 13:10

There are some big issues about this story , some that stand out so much and I'm sure for some of you guys listening too , you'll pick up on it as well . But for me there's like some of the things that really stand out are that he , when he decided that this was something that really turned him on and he loved thinking about it , he dove straight into the kink and BDSM world with chastity he was , you know , went straight into the full sexual denial fantasy , the you know , the benders on sissy porn and chastity porn and stuff like that , and just basically , like he himself by himself went straight into that without her , without her knowledge or her participation . He just , for quite some time , it sounds like , went there and that was what he indulged in . I'm assuming because this was something that he was too scared to bring up with his wife saying you know , this is what really turns me on . And so he just like dove straight into that . So it went from like probably like vanilla marriage to wanting and desiring and fantasy , fantasizing about a really kinky , level 10 , cuckolding , sexual denial marriage , and he just like went straight for it . And she's just like I feel bad for her Because she's probably just sitting there by herself at level one where he's all at level 23 . And she's just kind of like trying to figure out what's going on and not getting a lot of information from him and just trying to . I'm assuming that's why she's just joking about the reclamation sex in Dirty Talk , because she's probably just trying to feel like how things are landing with you . So she's just left there at the starting line when you've already finished the race , and that can't be a good place for you both to start this journey from if you are already at level 23 and she's still , you know , not even knowing where she is in the race .

Speaker 1 15:34

Um , also , I will say where the fuck is the communication ? Where is it ? The sharing of vulnerabilities , the sharing of mutual sharing of fantasies and desires ? And , like I said , I don't have all the information from this caller , but I do know that in a marriage , you should be open and honest about all of your deepest , darkest desires , your fears , your joys , your everything . I mean , if you are not completely open with this person who you're married to , that can't be a good place to be in your marriage . I just I don't understand how you could be married with somebody and them not understand anything about you because you don't share that with them . That seems so weird to me . It feels like that's a marriage that's not really on a solid footing .

Speaker 1 16:29

You want her to cuck you but at the same time , what does she want ? I didn't hear anything in there , anything in that voice note from this caller about what it is that she wants or what she has said that she wants . All I heard was a lot of very graphic and detailed . I get it . I get it . It turns you on . You've watched a lot of porn since then . You've got it all in your mind about what you want and you want her to do . That was very clear . What you want and how you want her to do . It is very , very clear . But I don't think , or didn't certainly didn't seem , that you were taking into account anything that she wants and what she wants from you or what she wants for her desires . So I think I really did feel like I was like , oh shit , like this really does feel like this is all about him and what he wants and what will ultimately benefit him and his orgasms , and not necessarily anything about her or hers .

Speaker 1 17:37

Cuckolding obviously and I've talked about this over the years it should be an open , honest , consenting experience by everyone . It should be beneficial for you and your relationship , not just for you , but for your relationship . It should be a positive thing . It should be a great thing that you guys experience Something that brings you closer together , something that brings you to that next level love of trust and connection . That's what cuckolding should be . That should be a journey that you go on together .

Speaker 1 18:13

How do you go from a traumatic event or events that nearly obliterated your marriage ? How do you go from that to consensual cuckolding without having done any therapy or work on your marriage first . I don't understand how this is possible . Like , is your marriage doomed to fail ? How can you go from something so devastating and potentially lethal for your marriage to a 180 of we're going to just do this because my dick really wants it . I really want this fucking thing . How do you do that ? How do you do that and it still be healthy and happy and beneficial for your relationship ? How do you make that happen without it imploding or exploding in your fucking face ? Like , I just don't know .

Speaker 1 19:16

Cuckolding relationships are difficult to navigate as it is . When you're starting from the same level together and have the same vision and the same idea and the same everything together . It's still hard with all of that . It's very difficult to navigate all of the things that come along . But cuckolding demands things that come along , but cuckolding demands I hope you all are listening to this cuckolding demands varsity level communication , not just basic communication , but varsity level communication and openness together . It demands that it absolutely requires next level trust . How do you do that if you haven't worked on the trust that was shattered before ? Are you just playing with fire now ? Are you really going to burn your marriage down doing this ? Burn your marriage down doing this ? How do you continue if you don't have that trust ? How do you continue if you don't have that openness and that high level of communication together ? How can you make that work ? And that's what I've question .

Speaker 1 20:30

I have put out there to everybody before , like I hear about couples where it did start with cheating and that it did work out and that they you know , they survived that blow to their marriage and they were able to make things work out between them . But I would be willing to bet that all of those couples put in a hell of a lot of work work on themselves and work on their relationship in order to be able to do that . How do you just turn this thing together ? I just don't understand how this caller thinks that this is going to work out well if they haven't done that work together . So what should he do ? There are , despite everything I just said , I don't know that your marriage is doomed to fail , but I think , if you don't make some really big changes , that you are really in danger . You're endangering your marriage by seeking to do this right now .

Speaker 1 21:31

There are several things that I would recommend that you do . Number one go to a kink-friendly therapist together and separately , and you should have done that a long time ago , but you absolutely should do it now . I know that's a boner killer , it's not part of your fantasy that you've been wanking off to for the last few years , but that is a necessity right now . Go to therapy , get a kink-friendly therapist , one who you can be open and honest to and understand the dynamic that you're talking about , that you're thinking about . Do the work on yourself , do the work on your marriage . Learn the skills from the therapist that you need to be more open and honest about your desires . That's important . You cannot be married to somebody and shield them from your deepest desires . That's not healthy . That's not good . It's not healthy for you to be so closeted about your desires like that . Let's normalize relationships where we are open and honest and our partner is curious to learn and accepting and nonjudgmental , and you are accepting and nonjudgmental and curious to learn about their desires as well . Let's normalize that for a change .

Speaker 1 22:52

Also , I want you to read the book Tell Me what you Want . It's written by Dr Justin Lay Miller . It's called Tell Me what you Want the Science of Sexual Desire and how it Can Help Improve your Sex Life . In the end of the book there is a chapter on how to approach your partner with your desires . So helpful , lots of great tips and advice in there . I'll put the link to the book in the show description notes for today's episode .

Speaker 1 23:20

Then you need to take a break from the porn and wank sessions that you've been doing . I would say wait at least six months , maybe even a year , before you dive into that again . And this time , this time , you're going to fix your marriage . That's what you're going to work on for the next little while You're going to fix your marriage . You're going to make sure that you guys are in the best space possible before you even begin to think about cuckolding and going down that road , and then maybe then you can start over . And this time , maybe then you can start over . And this time you need to put her in the driver's seat . You need to let her figure out which path to go down for you both . You're both going to go on that journey together , but you're going to be doing it together in the same space and time . She's going to decide what things look like , how they sound when it happens . All of that . You put her in the driver's seat and she will be comfortable , she will be happy and she will enjoy the process . Make it less about you and more about her . Make it less about you and more about her . That's going to be it for today's episode .

Speaker 1 24:40

Thank you so much for joining me . Make sure you go to venuscuckoldresscom . That's where you can book a private chat with me , and you can also join the Queens Quarters community and get all the amazing benefits , like the private podcast and the helpful cuck tier where you can get key holding for the private Snapchat group , monthly private chats with me and weekly live hangouts and invites to special live events . Oh , and you can also submit a question or confession for the show . Just go to venuscuckledresscom and click on the link that says the podcast . Make sure you follow me on Blue Sky Social . Yes , I said Blue Sky Social . Fuck Twitter . My handle there is at Cuckoldress V . All right , that's it for today's show , you guys . We'll see you next time . Bye .