The Venus Cuckoldress Podcast
The Venus Cuckoldress Podcast
The Faithful Cuckold and the Polyamorous Wife - When Cuckolding and Polyamory Blend Together
Venus welcomes guest Matty who shares the evolution of his polyamorous cuckolding relationship with his wife, from natural flirtation to a structured arrangement where emotional connection and safety are prioritized.
Key points:
• Matty and his wife discovered their dynamic organically over the course of their 15-year relationship
• His wife's natural flirtatiousness and his comfort with her interactions with other men formed the foundation
• Their journey from casual flirtation to polyamorous cuckolding took approximately 10 years
• Communication and transparency have been essential to navigating potential jealousy
• Safety is prioritized through developing relationships with trusted people rather than strangers
• The relationship provides fulfillment for both partners in different ways
• Matty advises couples to take things slowly and start with "softer" entry points
• Building a strong foundation of friendship and partnership is crucial before adding polyamory
• Resources like polyamory podcasts and kink-aware therapists can help couples navigate challenges
• Finding support from others in similar relationships helps manage emotional complexity
Links:
The Multiamory Podcast - https://www.multiamory.com/podcast#gsc.tab=0
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This is the Venus Cuckoldress podcast, a place to learn all things cuckolding for the curious, for the passionate and for the sexually empowered woman who wants it all. Let's go. Welcome to the show. I'm your host, venus. Thanks for joining me today.
Speaker 1:Today, my guest is maddie and he's going to be talking about his cuckolding polyamorous relationship that he's in with his wife, and we're going to learn all about what exactly that is, what it looks like and how that actually developed. It's a really cool story. I think you're going to love it. We're also going to learn about some things that you might want to consider when it comes to this kind of relationship, and this is a great episode for couples who are curious to learn about how those two worlds of cuckolding and polyamory can combine and blend together. Going to learn about some resources and the other things suggestions to help navigate this kind of relationship Because, as you can imagine, it might be a little bit complex and challenging, and we're going to jump right in right after this quick message from Joy Mode.
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Speaker 2:It's great to be here and talk with you about this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I came, or you came, across my post on Reddit. I put a post on there. I was looking for guests for the show. Share your story. Can you tell us a little bit about your marriage and how cuckolding became part of it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, sure. So we met. I guess we've been maybe 15 years ago that we met and you know, I was in my early 30s and she was in her 20s and yeah, we had a very normal courtship. You know, we were having fun together. We met at a bar and traveled and did all the things.
Speaker 2:She was always very flirty, though, and that didn't bother me. She liked to dance and so there was always an aspect of that in our lives. And, you know, over the years she would maybe go out and or even before that we would go out together and she'd be like, ooh, look at, look at that guy over there there. You know, like, tell me about it and I would, you know, play along, and it would be a fun kind of experience for both of us to to like just very vanilla and like no risk involved whatsoever. It was just kind of fun for both of us.
Speaker 2:And you know, that sort of thing kind of evolved over time where she would go out with her friends and then maybe she would come back and report to me after a night, a little bit tipsy about how she danced with somebody or fluttered with somebody out, how she danced with somebody or flirty with somebody. So that's kind of how it all naturally evolved in our relationship. So it was certainly something that excited me and I think, has excited her as well too. So from there, you know, it took a long time for us to get into more of this kind of polyamorous, cuckolding relationship sort of thing, but it did go there over time. So it probably took, you know, 10 years of us in this kind of flirty, fun sort of way to a more, you know, changing our dynamic. So we.
Speaker 1:So in the beginning, before you met her, did you know you were into anything cuckolding? Or is this something that spawned between the two of you?
Speaker 2:I'm trying to think, you know, I mean, I guess you know I was always kind of into kinks and you know I was always interested in things like, you know, multiple partners or threesomes or things like that. But you know, I guess maybe it did start, I did start thinking about it more. I didn't really know what it was, I guess, at the time, but I did like the idea, it was exciting to me and it turned me on. So, but yeah, but before that, I don't think it was necessarily something that I like looked for, it was just something that kind of came out of our natural dynamics. So okay, but there's a lot of people out there that probably think I'm pretty lucky because a lot of folks look for it first and foremost. But I kind of fell into it a little bit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and, and she seemed to like if you, I don't know, it's the fact that she was felt comfortable and safe to tell you that there was guys hitting on her and that you weren't going to get jealous and mad and angry and lash out, and so there must've been some trust there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure, and I think it was just part of our dynamic, of what maybe attracted us to each other too is just that I was maybe had more of a, you know, laid back submissive role and she was definitely a little more aggressive. And, yeah, I think it just was kind of our natural demeanors that kind of led to this attraction where she felt comfortable fulfilling that role and I did as well too. So, you know, just simple stuff like going out and her dancing with somebody else didn't never bothered me. So I think that was like a clue as to you know what might come down the road, but I didn't really know that at the time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you guys kind of won the dating lottery when you met each other.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, pretty, much, pretty much.
Speaker 1:That's so awesome. Yeah, there's gonna be a lot of jealous people listening right now, because, for all the couples who are listening right now and you're living your best lives in a cuckolding relationship, let me tell you this is a privilege for couples. This really is. This is something that, once you have it, you hold onto it and you hold dear to it, because it's very, very difficult to find when you're a single person and you're looking for this kind of thing. Like it's difficult to find someone who lines up with you with cuckolding, but it's also very difficult to find somebody that you want to live with for the rest of your life.
Speaker 1:So you found both those things which is like amazing, that's awesome. So at what point did you guys go from so she liked flirting or she was very flirtatious, or is a very flirtatious person, and you enjoyed hearing about the stories of her getting hit on by other men and stuff like that At what point did it transition into something a little bit more serious?
Speaker 2:well, and also during that time, um, she, like maybe a couple years after we were together, she reconnected with one of her old friends, like an ex that they had, um, they had dated for like a few months or something like that. It wasn't very serious but they had had fun together and so they reconnected and would meet for lunch and stuff like that and they maintained this friendship throughout the years. Throughout the past, you know whatever 12, 13 years Texting and meeting for lunch and meeting up occasionally, but just platonically. But they would share lots of information about their lives and he would talk about his escapades and his women and different people that he'd been with with her and she'd sometimes relate those stories to me.
Speaker 2:But it wasn't until it must have been like six or seven years ago we had moved away from the city where we met and she had gone back to visit and she reconnected with actually a different flirtatious connection, kind of coincidentally, and they met up and they kind of like started talking a little bit and she kind of related to me and and so they eventually saw each other and then when we went out to visit she spent a couple of of evenings kind of going out with him, and then they ended up like connecting physically as well, but not more so than before, but not like all the way. So they hadn't had sex or anything like that yet. So they were.
Speaker 1:Was she telling you about this before or during or after?
Speaker 2:She said, yeah, well, she told me she's going out to meet up and I kind of knew more or less what was going on. And there's one point before this that she had gone out by herself, and so that guy and another guy were at a party that she'd gone out by herself, and and, uh, so that guy and another guy were at a at a party that she had gone to. And she's told me she's like, oh, I could have hooked up with two guys tonight, sort of thing. But then then back to this, this visit. She, she had come back late, like at 5 am in the morning, and woke me up and told me kind of what had happened and that they had been having fun and that she went back to his place and that, um, a lot happened. But she said that they didn't go all the way.
Speaker 2:She, she kind of stopped it at a certain point okay, so she, she didn't feel comfortable right okay so, um, so they like stayed connected and would chat and she would, you know, keep me, keep me in the loop as to what was going on and how they're talking. But that kind of relationship a little bit fizzled out because we were thousands of miles apart and they chatted but it just it didn't work out. So he eventually moved out of that city too, and then, you know, they weren't going to be really able to see each other that often.
Speaker 2:So that was kind of the end of that and it went back to kind of business as usual where she would, you know, maybe go out and flirt with somebody and that would be about it. I do remember at one point her asking me like what?
Speaker 2:are your thoughts about Pollyann Amory, about this time, and I, you know, I thought like, oh, that sounds very complicated. You know, that's a lot. I got a lot. I got enough going on. I can't imagine doing more than that and it just wasn't something that I could see myself doing. You know, being a part of that I, you know I'm I was interested in my relationship with someone else I think she was thinking about it in terms of herself, but kind of feeling me out about it, okay.
Speaker 2:Because what her thoughts are is that it just felt a lot safer for her to have these relationships with people that she trusted and knew and cared for, and knew that they cared about her and her privacy and her relationship and what she wanted. So I think that's where her head was at and knew that we both were excited about everything.
Speaker 2:But, that was an important thing for her. So I'm trying to think of the exact timeline, but in any case, at first I didn't think about it much, but eventually we did start talking about a little bit more and she was kind of at the point where she really wanted to kind of pursue that. She was reconnecting with these guys that she felt comfortable with and she wanted to pursue it a little bit more, and so we had to have quite a bit of conversation. You know, it was a big change to it's like a transition in our relationship and that process took, you know, time. It was like a couple of years between the first time and then when she finally was in a relationship with somebody else. So so it was.
Speaker 2:That part was like a little rocky for me, for both of us trying to figure that out and communicate how to navigate it and what that would look like, but at the same time it's still super exciting for us.
Speaker 2:So we actually ended up moving a second time to another city and the guy had mentioned that she had dated before she and I got together, told her that he was going to be moving out here too, out like a couple hours away from here, and he had invited her, like they met up and had lunch and then he invited her to a family party it was like a wedding or something like that and they were still just kind of like hanging out or whatever, just talking you know, nothing really beyond that.
Speaker 2:So he came out and you know, it was like a couple of weeks away and we spent time like trying to figure out what she was going to wear and, uh, you know it was, you know getting her, you know picking out her outfit and how she's going to wear her hair and all these things. And so I helped her with that whole process and I kind of knew, you know what, what was what with that whole process? And I kind of knew you know what, what was what was happening. And I think she was in a little bit of denial about it or just like maybe not.
Speaker 1:What do you mean? What was happening, like her falling for someone else?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that that well, that night they would. Probably. Well, I think they'd they'd already had this established relationship. You know they always talk, so it wasn't like she was. It was maybe their dynamic was changing, maybe not not falling, so so, yeah, so, and I kind of knew that that maybe something was going to happen that night. But so she went. I actually I drove her to meet up with him and drove the car and I I'd never met him before. So I pull up outside and he's like waiting outside and and she's like all dressed up and all ready to go, and she gets out of the car and he says hello to her, and then he reaches into the window and shakes my hand and says thanks, and then they walk away and I'm like, oh my God, my heart was beating a thousand miles an hour.
Speaker 1:Okay, no, help me understand how you felt in that moment, because I'm not. Oh my God, it's like my heart was beating a thousand miles an hour. Okay, no, help me understand how you felt in that moment, cause I'm not a cuck, like I don't. I don't know how this all like works for you, but I'm like just it amazes me where you. Obviously these are like typical I don't want to say typical, but maybe like common cucky ritual things of get helping her to get ready and then the whole dropping her off for her date thing is. This is a big thing for for guys who are into cuckolding. How did you feel in that moment? You said your heart was racing, but were you what like? What did it really feel like?
Speaker 2:I mean it was very exciting to think because we didn't really know, we hadn't talked about anything besides her going to this event, where she was going with a guy that nobody else knew her. So the optics of it were that she was going as his date, right, right, going as his date, right, um. So you know, it wasn't like. You know, you hear a lot of stories from cucks about you know they, they knew they, they met somebody on reddit and they're set up a date at a hotel and they were. You knew exactly what was going to be happening. Um, but it was super exciting. You know, like the, the prospect of it it was like dangling out there.
Speaker 2:Um, there was this like, um, you know, like this tension in the air, like sexual tension. She had gotten all dressed up and I had helped her and and I knew when we had talked that they were flirty and had a past and so, um, you know, I kind of feel I'm like feeling it, I feel like it just talking about it right now with you a little bit, just that nervous anxiousness a little bit, but, um, but like exciting, so like it's like maybe, like I don't know anything that you do in your life. That is a little bit scary, but you, you want to do it, um, maybe like the first time you, you like put yourself out there on, you know, on podcasts or on YouTube or something like that, and that like that first show when you're interviewing somebody, and like that nervous anxiousness, you know you want to do it, but but it's scary at the same time. So I think I mean that that's kind of what I was feeling and and also is like, um, you know something, you know this, this desire to be in this type of relationship had had been there for years, right, and and so like getting that much closer to it felt a lot more real, and especially like seeing, and, yeah, just like feeling that feeling of realness, that like, oh my god, this is actually who I am, and, um, that that kind of trying to like wrap your head around it at the same time of like this is really happening sort of thing.
Speaker 2:It's all those those emotions hitting at once and, um, it's exciting, and it's also like, once you leave, then it's just like there in the ether in your head. You know it's just sitting out there, you're not sure what's going on, and so I can just remember being kind of like preoccupied by it and a little nervous, but like prepared at the same time. Not feeling like overwhelmed or anything like that, but at that particular time it wasn't like that.
Speaker 1:So she went to this event and no one knew who she was, so it looked like they were a couple and you knew that going into that, like she knew she was going, gonna look like that was her date or whatever. Um, so what happened after that?
Speaker 2:like she had a great time and she so, so that night she, she came home and told me like how it went, like she, well, she came home and she was, she was a bit tipsy, she had, uh, and it was like 5 am when she got home. So I was like, of course, like burning with curiosity as to what had happened. And, um, she told me that they had a great time, that people were asking how long they had been together.
Speaker 2:You know, like those, sorts of things and uh, and she's like, well, I just kind of deflected and didn't really answer the questions. But then she's like and afterwards we went out to kind of like an after party. We went to a bar nearby and we were set talking and she told me how they were kind of like flirty and then a little more touchy-feely, and then they went out to the sidewalk and things went even farther than that and they were kissing and she was wearing a skirt and how he had took advantage of that and felt her up and fingered her on the sidewalk and everything. And so she came back. She was super excited and very aroused from the whole situation. So, um, but that was that was kind of. After that she got into a cab and and came home and and told me all about it. But she did that night. She's like oh, my god, yes, I, I was super turned on and excited too and so did you guys have like amazing sex together when she came home?
Speaker 2:oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah yeah it was super hot and, uh, you know, kind of like you want to fuck him, don't you? And she's like, oh yes, I do, and like that was just it was your cock brain exploded, yeah it was. It was amazing and super crazy and and so we had a great time. And then, like the next day and and like she was like a little like she's, she was excited. She was kind of like bashful a little bit like oh my god, what happened last night.
Speaker 2:That was you know that sort of thing. And uh, um, but she's like, do you think that we could do that and why? And so we had, you know that conversation, like would this be possible? Like how would that look? And she's, and you know, to her it was a big thing where she didn't want to just like have this, you know, she cared about this, this other person, and didn't want to like string him along and was concerned about how he would feel. But then also like, what does that mean about our relationship? So it's very confusing, right? No-transcript.
Speaker 2:So, um, so they planned on meeting up again and, uh, they did one of the first times they met up, you know, they, he came kind of to our city and they stayed nearby, but they went out or whatever, and then they spent the night at the hotel and the next day she, or that night, she came back again and I, of course, I was like, couldn't sleep and was eager to know what, how it went.
Speaker 2:And and she's, she, she's, she had told me that she's like she couldn't believe it. She, she thought that there was something wrong with her because she was so embarrassed because she had squirted for the first time that had never happened to her before and that he was able to and I was just, you know, it was not something that was ever on my radar and that that could happen and that wasn't my specialty and apparently it is. So that was kind of like another milestone. And then eventually, you know, we talked about it and she's like okay, this weekend we're going to have sex finally. And so I remember that one was like that was a little harder moment, I think, for me, in that they were going to spend the weekend together.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a long time.
Speaker 2:So he came and picked her up at our house and I just had a little bit of a panic attack and like like, oh my God, this is crazy. It wasn't that I didn't want it to happen, I was just it was a big step and I was anxious and nervous.
Speaker 1:And yeah you.
Speaker 2:I think you know those other fears come into play where you feel maybe inferior or what does this mean for my relationship? Is it is this, is he she just gonna prefer him over me, sort of thing. So like those thoughts of doubt going through my head, and so that whole weekend was was kind of that. That was a little bit challenging, but when she got back it took a few times for us to get super comfortable, where it's like she knew what I needed and I knew what she needed and we could communicate and feel okay about things. But she was always very conscientious about checking in with me and reassuring me and I think it helped for me to tell her how I was feeling, what I needed. Obviously, like those communication was a big part of it, so but at the same time, like it was super exciting and and uh, and since then you know, like that was all super exciting, but then it's kind of more fun and natural.
Speaker 2:Now it's like we got over that kind of like needing to talk about it every five minutes or or, like you know me, like I definitely edited myself a bit. Like you know, it was just in my head a lot and I knew that you know she would talk about it for a bit and then be like, okay, listen, enough Time to talk about you know dinner plans for next week or whatever it is you know, yeah, so, so like balancing out real life with, with, with, that was also something that we had to learn how to manage, and you know that you had mentioned on your last podcast that I listened to about resources and things, and I think there's a lot more resources out there for polyamory and I think one of the things I learned about, one of the things that made me feel most, I don't know, just gave me perspective on the cuckolding lifestyle and the polyamorous lifestyle is like when somebody was.
Speaker 2:I always thought of polyamory as being kind of, I don't know, like lots of rules and things, and in any case, when somebody had said like oh, and I was talking to my partner and I asked him how their night was and they said oh, you know, we hooked up and the other partner said hot, or something like that. Just like, oh, okay, it's okay to to think of some your partner being somebody else's being hot. That's not like creepy, it's like it's okay, it's, you know, I don't know if I'm articulating that very well, but, um, but anyway, the there's, those resources, I think, helped me a lot. I also found another cuck online that I talked to and I never don't know their name, don't know anything about them much, but other than their, their lifestyle, and so that you know, whenever I was kind of, when I was alone, or that those nights or those times, there would be a way that I could, I could talk with with him and share, share war stories and things.
Speaker 1:So I'm so happy to hear that men are reaching out to other men for support and comfort and all of those things. Oh my gosh, the.
Speaker 2:I am so happy to hear that be a lot more resources for folks and and connections with people and, um, you know, even for, like my wife, you know, I think she wishes, and both of us wishes maybe we had like another couple, friend that weren't a similar lifestyle and we could be, you know, just hang out and she could talk with her and we, you know, just have a lot more in common. So it's hard to find that, or we haven't found that. I mean, I'm sure there's, there's folks in common, so it's hard to find that, or we haven't found that. I mean, I'm sure there's folks out there that are very similar to us in many ways, but it's not something that we broadcast out. You know, we have family and we have jobs and things like that, and so it's not something we share with other folks.
Speaker 1:Really, so you're in a polyamorous cuckolding relationship right now and, just based on what you said, I'm sure you guys have a certain level of discretion to make sure that other people don't find out and stuff like that. But if she is seeing the same person in an actual relationship outside of your marriage, then isn't that kind of risky Cause people are going to see them out? Yeah, there's.
Speaker 2:There's definitely that risk, I guess. You know we live in a big city and he, he has a whole different crew of folks and so do we. So we don't really, and it works for us the way we have it. We don't really mingle those two lives. It's not like we're. I don't know if that's. You know, I'm sure that there's some types of, or I know there's some types of, polyamory that that's considered maybe not healthy, maybe. But yeah, I think it works for us. Where we're not, you know, we have kids and stuff. So we don't want to confuse that and, you know, put any of that at risk for them.
Speaker 2:You know I don't think it'd be fair to them. So but yeah, I mean I guess there is a little bit of risk and I mean I don't think it's anybody's business either, and if somebody says something, then you just I feel like you can play it off and just let them think what they want to think and just live your life, and they don't need to know anything more than what they already know. So, but it's not like we're sneaking around or anything, but you know around or anything.
Speaker 1:But you know, um, okay, let's get into this whole polyamorous thing, because I love how she she's taken the lead on this, which is awesome. I don't get the sense that you've like pushed her into any of this. You guys really kind of grown this together kind of naturally, which is awesome. By the way, it also sounds like you guys have that kind of next level communication skills. Partner is going to leave him for somebody else who's sexually more capable than him or better in some way, or, if you know, she enjoys spending more time with him, eventually she will leave him.
Speaker 1:This is like the biggest fear that guys have, and you see, and women have that fear too. You see, and women have that fear too. A lot of women have that fear. I have that fear. I don't trust myself. When I'm in love, I make stupid decisions, like I do dumb shit. I no, I don't have a good history when it comes to that, no, so so I don't trust myself. I'd be, I'd be doing some dumb shit. So if I was falling in love with somebody, I just don't trust myself to make rational, fucking good decisions. If I had somebody to keep me in check, I think maybe that would be better. My best friend, she's the one who keeps me in check. She's always going to tell me the way it is. But so how did you figure that shit out? Because weren't you just scared? Aren't you naturally scared? Am I no longer relevant, or will I become irrelevant to my wife because, like I don't know how you navigate that, I mean yeah I think a couple things, like one.
Speaker 2:I like I probably am the best friend, right, so I you know that, I that I'm there, and I think the biggest part is we have so much history together too and like we've got, we've built a life together, so there's it's a lot harder, just to you're not disposable like right yeah, I mean we.
Speaker 2:It's hard to imagine, like us not having that partnership and that that you know this, all the stuff that we built together.
Speaker 2:So there's a lot of inertia there that's keeping us moving in one direction and it would be really difficult to change that. Also, I think just the nature of who we are as people and I guess I trust her and also that she has absolutely no filter and she's always talking all the time, telling me everything she thinks. I'm a lot more in my head, but she's always talking about, so I always know exactly where she stands, so I know exactly what's happening, um, and, and it leads to discussions and it it's super helpful that she can kind of be that person and you know it's helped me be a better communicator, for sure, but she's, she's always, um, super open about it. So I think, yeah, it's still, you know, I think part of the appeal of being a cuck too is that you know that submissive side of it sometimes for some people, I guess, and that vulnerability putting yourself out there but then still coming back to it is part of the appeal. So yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean it's scary. It can be scary, for sure, and I think you just need to. I don't necessarily think of myself as an overly confident, self-confident person. I have lots of insecurities but at the same time, I'm very, very secure in my relationship. I'm very secure in who I am and what I have to offer, and I think also, like love is not a zero sum game and like having more love in your life, and like giving your partner the opportunity to do things that's important to them, is a key part of a long term relationship, I think, and I think that giving your partner that opportunity whether it's to, you know, take up a new hobby or whatever it is, hang out with friends more often, or whatever it is I think you know that's part of what makes a good relationship, and that's maybe just how we express that to each other.
Speaker 2:Um, but yeah, I mean it is. It is scary, but it is also kind of um, I feel like that's. I've learned, as in my older age, that uh, I mean that's kind of who I am and and I I like uh to it feels like I'm living a more authentic lifestyle, to, to who I am, and kind of it's fulfilling to me as well too. So I mean, I know it's scary for a lot of folks and change is super scary for everybody, but I feel like this is like um, it's been, it's you know, it's a huge thing and it changed our lives, but it's like we, we've done, it's just another thing that we've done together and like it strengthened our relationship as a result, because we've got this deep trust for each other.
Speaker 1:So the most common. What I've seen the most common reaction or intervention that people couples do when it comes to polyamory or preventing feelings from being caught with a bull is implementing these kinds of rules, boundaries and limits, and one of the most common ones is you'll see brand new couples thinking about trying cuckolding for the first time and they're looking for a bull, and they come up with all sorts of funny little rules, and usually the number one is like no kissing a bull. She's not allowed to kiss the bull either. It's usually a cuck that makes the rule, but sometimes it's the woman as well who's like no, I can't, I might fall in love if I kiss this guy or that's just too emotional or whatever.
Speaker 1:Like he's like no, no, no, no. And that's so funny because you read this on Reddit too, on the post, and I'm always like that is so, like that's it's funny because that is the most common first rule that couples have and it's the first rule that gets thrown out the fucking window.
Speaker 2:Like, she's just like right.
Speaker 1:She's just like she's making out with this guy. How do you fuck, do you make out without touching lips like hello, like it's fucking weird. And then she's in her head because she's like, oh, I gotta remember not to do this and not to do that. And it's just like, just fucking, let her live in the moment, like yeah, but what I?
Speaker 2:mean, what did you?
Speaker 1:guys have rules like that. Did you ever?
Speaker 2:no, I don't think so. I mean, I um, I feel like if you're wanting to be in this lifestyle, then that's the most ridiculous rule you can make, like that, right it's like I understand why they want, why the logic is yeah unless, unless you have a thing for breaking rules or something like that, then maybe that's cool because you could set a new rule each time and it's going to get broken. But yeah, that's not something like we didn't have any rules like that.
Speaker 1:But what about? Because, especially when she brought up the polyamory thing, did you create any kind of limits or anything like that, where boundaries, where you were just like we can go there, but we can't go past this point, or something like that?
Speaker 2:My limit was that I wanted to know what was going on and I wanted to know where I stood and where she stood with the other people. I think I, I I wanted her to pursue things and and she did too. Um, but there's no like, there's no specific rules set in play. You know, like amount of time or when and where, or any of that. Um, I think one one difference too for our relationship is that, um, I is that I'm not there when they're together. They hook up separately, but she does share, you know, photos and videos and tells me stories, and so, or, if I send along like lingerie or something like that, she'll wear that, or you know. So, yeah, so, in terms of like limits set, there is nothing other than somehow being a part of it, right, like I didn't want her just to go off and have this loving relationship with somebody else and not being a part of it, because I felt like that was not what I wanted.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's good to know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, so I guess, yeah, I guess there are, are, are limits, but then, at the same time, it doesn't feel like a limit. It just feels like that's the fun thing that we're doing, right, that's what the kucky parts being involved in some way, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So that's good, that is good for you know, for her, for both of you to know that that's the expectation, that that's what you want and that's how you feel fulfilled in that kind of relationship, right? So without that it would be not fulfilling, it would be kind of empty.
Speaker 2:It would be different. Yeah, yeah, and that's something that I want to have, and she knows that, and I think she likes that aspect too. She gets off on it as well too. So I mean, if that didn't exist, it'd probably be completely different. Maybe we'd just be in a polyamorous relationship or not at all. I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't know how it would be Just open on her side and minus the cuckolding part, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that doesn't sound that fun to me.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, I prefer it this way, yeah and that's good that she enjoys that part of it the sending you the pictures, the having you get excited and turn on that you buying the lingerie part and stuff all the cookie parts, like she likes that part. Did you ever want to have a discussion with this other guy, like? Did you ever talk to him, sit him, him down and be like, hey, like no, and he's never tried to sit down with you and be like is this cool?
Speaker 2:No, I mean like we use the. You know, my wife is like the mediator, I guess, for that sort of thing, although she has said like oh, someday I think we should all get together and but but yeah, I don't know what will happen in the future, but yeah, perhaps I mean I still. I mean, I don't know, you know it would be super hot to see her and to see them in action, but I don't know that when or if. There's no plans for that to happen at some point. But she knows it's a fantasy of mine. So I mean I have seen it in videos and pictures and things like that too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but being there live would be something different right, yeah, that'd be exciting, that'd be crazy yeah. Has she expressed?
Speaker 2:an interest in having more than just one kind of boyfriend. Not really. I mean, she is very flirty and she's had some other guys that she's flirted around with, but I think she you about pulling off the side of the road with him and finding a bush somewhere to hook up. But I think you know she's very. That's too risky behavior for her. I think she would not. Yeah, she likes the idea of it, but it's too much risk involved risk involved.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, no, I understand that and I appreciate how, when she first came to you to talk about polyamory, that her main driver behind that was safety. I can, I totally get that. And this is where there's a real disconnect sometimes between in cuckolding with couples, because, especially new couples, the guy is like the cuck is like okay, we can find a bull, but it has to be some random stranger or some guy who's just going to be there to provide dick and then going to leave and we'll never see him again or whatever. Um. And then, but oftentimes the woman's like but I don't feel safe with that, like that doesn't feel good to me, that doesn't feel like it's a physically or emotionally safe space for me.
Speaker 1:I don't like the idea of hooking up with some random fucking dude, um and but for the cuck he's like safest situation for him, because this guy she's not gonna see him again, she's gonna fall in love, like there's gonna be no, no strings attached kind of thing. But for her she's like no, like I need the connection, I need to know this person. And so there's oftentimes this real battle between the two because the cuck is like, oh fine, like I guess we'll do that. But I'm just going to be really scared about it and I don't like it and I'm not comfortable with it. Yeah, all of that stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely, and all of that stuff. Yeah, absolutely. And I mean I think, yeah for sure, the safety part is the biggest thing to make it comfortable. But I think, also for the woman too, it can be scary that you're involving yourself with this person and, like like you were saying, like you lose your mind a little bit when you're falling in love with that new relationship, energy and everything, and it's it's got its own, you know, scariness factor for the woman as well as for the guy too. So, um, but yeah, I mean I think that for us anyway, and for especially for for who she is, um, that safety was a must. And you know, she's still the same person, still flirty and still, you know, always opened into relationships or new people. But I don't, you know, she's still the same person, still flirty and still, you know, always open to new relationships or new people. But I mean she's got her hands full with her. You know her boyfriend and stuff too. So I think I can't imagine that things are going to change much in the near future.
Speaker 1:Anyway, but we'll see, see um, for for couples out there who are thinking about polyamorous cuckolding, um thinking about oh, this would be really hot, this would be fun to try, or whatever. Do you have any advice, uh, or recommendations or things that you should or shouldn't do? Um in a relationship like this, when you're thinking about bringing this into a marriage or relationship?
Speaker 2:uh, yeah, I mean, I think from the perspective, don't go nuts, like chill out right, like take a step back and like think about it from her perspective and not just your monkey brain sort of thing. You know, like I think that's the. You know, it took us years to kind of get to the point that we're at now and kind of feeling it out. Naturally, I think is another thing, not pressuring it in any one way. Making sure everybody feels comfortable and I think, like the biggest thing that you always hear is communication.
Speaker 2:I know it's hard, you know I think a lot, of, a lot of people hold this in and then like kind of blurt it out and it's received with maybe shock or or like just not understanding what's going on. I mean, I guess I was lucky in that sense that it was more of a natural progression and she forced the issue as much as I did. So but yeah, I think, being patient and communicating and finding maybe softer ways to introduce it, like they like for me, the way we started of, you know, just like going to a bar and like hey, that guy over there is checking you out and like having her respond, that sort of thing, it's a very low risk entry point, that you can feel things out and if you get a good reaction or maybe you tweak your approach or maybe you take it another step and kind of feel it out and just go with that, but go slowly so that you're not like freaking people out or and yourself too, like you could, you could take things, you could push things way too far, too fast and and not be ready for it. So I think it takes some um maturity.
Speaker 2:I think you know I see a lot of young folks, um, like in their 20s on on reddit you know the cut cold psychology things talking about how do I get my girlfriend to do this? You see that a lot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and.
Speaker 2:I think that it takes some maturity and patience to kind of be successful in this lifestyle. Not that somebody in their 20s couldn't do this, but I think it. I think it, uh, I think that's for me and or for what worked for me, I guess is is that and it's part of my personality and part of my. My life is is like that anyway. So, um, but yeah, that would be. My advice for folks is to kind of take it slow and kind of feel it out. You know, do the the kiddie pool first and try your dip, your feet in there before you go into the deep end.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I love the fact that you said that you and your partner are best friends and that you've built this life together, and I think maybe that's a lot of some of the that's like a big step that's often overlooked. With these, I want to say younger guys in their twenties who are like oh, I really want this. I had to like my girlfriend into this, or how to find a girl into this or whatever you have to actually build that the foundation of a real loving relationship where you're both open and honest, where you have the skills to be able to analyze your own internal experience and be able to communicate your wants, needs, desires, insecurities effectively to your partner. Those are skills that a lot of us are not born with. We don't get taught those as we grow up. These are skills you actually have to learn, and so, if you don't have those skills, just go to therapy. Learn them from a therapist. They can teach you that so easily.
Speaker 1:If you don't want to go to therapy, look up some youtube videos. Like you can learn these communication skills really easily. But yeah, you have to have that and um, I I love the fact that you guys already have that.
Speaker 1:And I heard I've heard this before with polyamorous cuckolding couples where I talked to the guy the cock and I say, hey, aren't you afraid of her leaving? And their response was very similar to yours. I can't imagine us not having this partnership together. This is something that is so integral to our life right now. I mean, like it's just, it's absurd to think that you wouldn't, you wouldn't have that together, and I think that's the kind of strength that you need in your relationship to be able to start adding polyamory. And if you don't have that, if you're not already best friends with somebody, if you haven't already built that life together and you're adding this on, it's just, I can see that being very complicated. I can see that being very complicated.
Speaker 1:But, also there are tons of kink aware professionals, therapists, counselors who specialize in polyamory.
Speaker 1:There's no need to like really fuck up and fuck around and find out when it comes to this kind of relationship, like you don't have to fuck around and find out, like you could just go to one of these people who do this for a loving, helping couples throughout through these processes and like do it. Like I don't understand why people don't do it. You haven't, it sounds like you haven't needed to, because and I, this is the other thing I love about your relationship. You said she's so unfiltered. That which is the cornerstone, a cornerstone of a female-led relationship where she does not need to filter what it is, that how she's feeling, what she needs to say. Well, how she it needs to come across. She could just just say it. You said I always know how she feels.
Speaker 1:This is what Key Barrett writes about in his FLR book. This is very helpful in relationships when a guy knows exactly how his wife is feeling. He doesn't need to guess, he doesn't need to read between the lines. She's just going to say it. It's beneficial for everybody involved. I love that.
Speaker 2:it's so great yeah, it's perfect, it's so and it's so funny. Like she doesn't know. She doesn't know you. If you said flr to her, she wouldn't know what that meant. She doesn't know the word cuckold or anything like that. It's just so like. I mean, I think we came to it organically, sort of thing, so it's like, uh, but yeah, absolutely she's, she's in charge it's so funny because, there's couples out there practicing cuckolding that don't know what that word means.
Speaker 1:They don't know it's an actual thing. And then when they find out they're like, oh holy shit, there's a word for it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's awesome yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's so great. I think all of the advice that you gave was awesome, especially taking it slow. Go to the kiddie pool first is, I think, probably absolutely necessary when it comes to involving polyamory and cuckolding, because, like you said, you can get into your head so easily it can become a mental health downward spiral before you know it, and you don't want that to happen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's a good podcast that I listened to. That helped a lot too. Um, I think it's called polyamory, but they have all different topics right, so it could be, um, it could be specific to like a, a one-sided polyamorous relationship. It can be like just like how people communicate and the types of communication that people have, um, different types of bonding. There's like all these sorts of things, like one hour chunks of things that you can listen to and then kind of evaluate, and it really helped me to kind of do some work on on all of that, just like how can I be a better person, how can I feel better about myself? That's the sort of thing. So, if folks out there want to check that out, I've. You know, there's a. I think they have like 300 400 podcasts, but there's so many different interesting topics that you can look at. That might, um, help you kind of like figure shit out, right, yeah, and, uh, I would recommend doing that as well. As therapists, uh, I've done that as well too, so that's always been super helpful.
Speaker 1:Yay, therapy, yeah, yeah, All right. Well, we are out of time. I can't believe we've been talking for this long. I feel like it's been for five minutes. This has been a fascinating conversation. I've really enjoyed it. I love getting to know you and your story and I think listeners are going to be able to learn a lot from this today. And I especially wanted to say, maddie, big thank you for sharing your story. You reached out. You are brave to come on the show. You don't have to. Nobody's making you, you're not obligated to. I just really want to say a big thank you to all of the people in this lifestyle who not only take from the lifestyle as far as consuming things, but give back in this way of sharing their story. So thank you so much, maddie.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for having me. I love your show and everything that you do, so thank you for being you.
Speaker 1:That's going to be it for today's episode. Thank you so much for joining me. Make sure you go to venuscuckoldresscom. That's where you can book a private chat with me, and you can also join the Queens Porters community and get all the amazing benefits, like the private podcast and the helpful cuck tier, where you can get key holding for the private Snapchat group, monthly private chats with me and weekly live hangouts and invites to special live events. Oh, and you can also submit a question or confession for the show. Just go to venuscuckledresscom and click on the link that says the podcast. Make sure you follow me on blue sky social. Yes, I said blue sky social. Fuck Twitter. My handle there is at cuckoldress V. All right, that's it for today's show, you guys, we'll see you next time. Bye.