The Venus Cuckoldress Podcast
The Venus Cuckoldress Podcast
When Your Partner Wants Cuckolding But You're Drowning in Parenthood
Ever wondered what it's really like when your partner wants cuckolding but you're drowning in diapers, laundry, and sleepless nights? This honest conversation with Kelly pulls back the curtain on navigating kinky desires within the chaos of family life.
Kelly shares her journey as a mother of young children whose husband revealed his cuckolding desires at perhaps the most overwhelming stage of parenthood. What followed wasn't a simple yes or no, but a nuanced exploration of boundaries, creative alternatives, and the very real challenges that come with balancing fantasy and reality.
The most refreshing aspect of this conversation is its honesty about the mental load women carry. As Kelly puts it, "Nothing kills your sex drive more efficiently than being overworked and overtired."
Through trial and error, Kelly and her partner discovered that dirty talk, verbal humiliation, and other creative alternatives could satisfy many aspects of cuckolding without her actually sleeping with other men. Their journey included awkward first attempts, communication breakthroughs, and eventually seeking professional help through couples counseling to establish healthy boundaries.
Whether you're the one with cuckolding desires or the partner being asked to fulfill them, this episode offers practical wisdom for navigating these conversations with compassion and creativity. Listen now for a perspective rarely heard in discussions about cuckolding – the voice of a loving partner who's neither rushing to fulfill the fantasy nor dismissing it entirely.
Zach Watson - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCGP1ihHIjbtVeP2KPOPCmw
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Here's what's coming up on the show. I felt so awkward the first few times that I purposely made a comment or said something. It felt so really fucking awkward and not cool and not sexy that I was like I don't want to do this, like at all. The first time that, like I actually said, made a comment or said something, oh my god, I felt so stupid. I was like this is not sexy, this is not cool, I don't feel comfortable. Doing this Like this is ridiculous. Was it the same for?
Speaker 2:you Well? Yeah, I think it was. Maybe it was even worse, because I could see that he was really turned off by that, Like oh, that's so weird and I'm horrified.
Speaker 1:This is the Venus Cuckoldris podcast, a place to learn all things cuckolding for the curious, for the passionate and for the sexually empowered woman who wants it all. Let's go this up to their wife, or brought it up to their wife. You know, I really want you to sleep with other guys and maybe she's just not that receptive to it. We're going to talk about what it's actually like for her from her perspective, about why maybe she's not a hard no but also not a right now kind of response, and we're going to look at real life reasons why cuckolding might not be what she wants or needs right now. But maybe, who knows, in the future. And in the meantime, we're going to discuss all of the things that you all the fun little ways that you can have fun with cuckolding fantasies and desires without her actually sleeping with other guys. Guys, I know a lot of guys really have that ultimate fantasy in their mind of watching her sleeping with another guy or knowing that she slept with another guy. Okay, I get it, that's the super hot epitome of cuckolding. I get that. But there are tons of other really fun ways that you can have fun with this whole thing that don't involve her sleeping with other guys, it's true. And lastly, we're going to talk about how you can work together to overcome the struggles that may come up along the way of talking about communicating about your desires and fantasies around cuckolding. And make sure you have a look at today's show notes for this episode, because I've put some helpful links and resources for you as well. All right, we're going to jump right into this episode after this quick message from my friends over at Joy Mode. My friends over at Joy Mode wanted a healthier, all-natural erectile support product, but they only had gas station pills and prescription drugs to choose from. So they started Joy Mode and partnered with best-in-class scientists and biochemistry PhDs to create their sexual performance booster. It relaxes your blood vessels and promotes stronger blood flow. Scientifically speaking, that means stronger erections and more stamina. Joy Mode is formulated by doctors and PhD scientists. It's recommended by urologists and made with clinically proven ingredients. Joy Mode is both an on-demand and daily supplement so you can head into the bedroom with confidence. It's discreet, grab and go packaging that helps you perform best when the occasion arises. Go to tryjoymodecom and get 20% off with the code Venus at checkout. That's 20% off and free shipping with the code VENUS at tryjoymodecom Joining me on the show.
Speaker 1:I have a special guest. Her name is Kelly and she's going to be talking about her relationship with her partner who has these cuckolding desires, and what this is actually like in reality when you are faced with this situation of having a partner who has these kinky desires and you are maybe not as kinky and not as excited about the idea and up to your eyeballs in real life shit. So this is what we're going to talk about the real life side of cuckolding desires in a relationship. Kelly, thank you so much for joining me on the show. Say hello to all the listeners.
Speaker 2:Hello Venus, hello cucks.
Speaker 1:Now you are in Europe, right? Yes, okay, and I happen to know your partner really well and I've spoken to him on several occasions, and so I know a little bit about your relationship from his aspect or his side of things, and I think both of you guys are fabulous people, by the way, and I know that this is going to be an interesting conversation Because, like I said, this is about the real realistic kind of look at what it's like to have a partner who has this, these desires and fantasies, but also be like you know, head up to your head in in absolute, like real life shit. You guys have kids together, right, and young kids, right? Yeah, exactly, okay, um, and I I think it's safe to say that you are busy as fuck as parents, right?
Speaker 2:Well, that's the short version, but it's, yeah, quite complete version.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so I completely get how your life would be absolutely crazy in this stage of life, like when you're raising a bunch of young kids and you're you know, both working right. You're both working right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I'm only working half time right now. Part-time, but yeah, it's. It's still like 20 hours a week outside the house, but yeah, with with kids and most of the household and and also like dealing with my partner. That's like 80 hours a week, yeah.
Speaker 1:It's a lot, and then just the lack of sleep that goes along with that and everything like that, it can be really crazy. So I know people listening to this show right now are going to be able to relate. Some of you who are listening right now are in the same stage of life where you're perhaps a young couple and you've got young kids together and one of you has these kinky cuckolding desires most likely the dude, the husband. But I'm sure that you can relate that this is a challenging time in your life. How, when you first met your partner, how was it in the beginning? Like, did he bring up cuckolding or kinky stuff to you right away, or is this something that you kind of learned along the way?
Speaker 2:well, I think we we had the conversation about, uh, his uh cuckolding interests. Maybe at least we had at least one kid, because like we have three all together. Then I can't really remember which also a lot of moms can relate like which one of the kids was like born or which was. I don't know, maybe I was pregnant or something, but yeah, I think it was like maybe a second kid or something. So, yeah, he kind of like came out and told me about it and at first I remember being like super confused about cock, what, what, what, and so, yeah, because then we were already quite heavily sleep deprived and I was a bit worried about his.
Speaker 2:I think maybe he kind of like said that he's pretty sure that's something that he really is interested in, and so I felt that he tried to say that this is either like I should do this or we probably won't have a chance in our relationship. So at least I felt that it was like almost like an ultimatum. Oh he he later explained that he maybe he was just like jumping ahead of stuff. But I remember my first reaction to that information in the whole package. I was very worried about our relationship and it's probably not going to last very long. Oh wow, yeah, and it wasn't like because our kids are not very long spaced, so they're like bam, bam, bam, yeah, right, one after another. So I still don't know how we ended up with three kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, three young kids all close together. That's pretty crazy. So maybe not the best timing that he brought it up at that time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but it felt that it had been eating at him for for some time and he really needed to share it. And then, I think, because he had been thinking about it for so long at that point and he was like so worried about my reaction that when I first tried to understand about it or like what's, what's the appeal for him or what's what's going on and what does he mostly interested about that, then I think he just like got so carried away with it that he ran like 10 miles and I was like what is going on?
Speaker 1:this happens so often I've heard this so many times where um guys will just get so excited by it and so worked up and that they really do jump ahead like many levels just, and sometimes without her, like without her even, like tagging along for the ride. They're just all of a sudden, you know binging these porn benders, that, going down rabbit holes and you know going all extreme and in the fantasy land and stuff, and you're just like hold up, wait a minute, like let's put the brakes on it. Yeah, so I hear that way too often. So, guys, if you're listening, please, just like. I know it's exciting, I know it's like something that you've been probably thinking about for a very, very, very long time, but it doesn't mean you get to go and jump in headfirst like. You need to just go slow, involve your partner. I'm really glad that you guys actually talked about it and that you weren't judgmental about, uh, his desires, because that would be, that would be unfortunate if that happened.
Speaker 2:But those conversations are very difficult. I think we just he is a great communicator. I think we've always managed to talk about all the difficult stuff and, yeah, I don't think life has been really like smooth sailing. Sailing we, we have had our, our share of um like grief and loss and and like some issues and problems, not in our like relationship per se, but with like other stuff about like life and stuff. And because, like he's always supported me so so well and I've always felt very comfortable and comforted with him, so I I never thought and and I could see how important that topic was for him yeah, I never to like ridicule it or somehow like make it small or somehow bad.
Speaker 1:So you guys talked about it and you had some time to kind of mull it over in between craziness of parenthood. Yeah, From what I understand, this is not something that you've agreed to fulfill this fantasy correct? But that this is something that you've agreed to fulfill this fantasy correct, but that this is something that you guys continue to talk about, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, we, we have talked about it for kind of like years, if you zoom out.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And, and I have always said to him that, um, the idea of sleeping with another man, I uh I don't seek it out in this moment that we're in, but if I would have to think, hmm, will he be the last man on earth I will sleep with?
Speaker 1:I hope there is somebody else too, but and I don't want to break up with him- I don't want to break up with him, but I'm not like looking for the dress to go to a party and a hard no, but it's also definitely not a hard yes Like this is not something that you're seeking, but you're listening to what they're saying. I get that and that's fair. And the fact that you guys have been talking about this for, like you said, zooming out, it's been a few years means that this conversation hasn't been swept on under the rug. It's something that you continue to talk about and whatever. What I know about you guys and I'd love to talk about this part here is okay, so you're not fucking some other dudes much to the dismay of your partner, but but you guys seem to have figured out these fun little ways to play with the idea of that uh or king other kinky little things together over the years, which I think is fucking great, because you're, like we I've said before, crazy up to your eyeballs and parenting, motherhood, shit. Like you, real life stuff is heavy right now in your life, but you still manage to figure out how to flip the switch that turns on your partner in that way, in this kink for these kinky desires, one of them being like dirty talk right.
Speaker 1:And I remember back when, when I first started learning about cuckolding, I did not understand the teasing, humiliation part, like at all, and I felt so awkward the first few times that I purposely made a comment or said something. It felt so really fucking awkward and not cool and not sexy that I was like I don't want to do this, like at all. The first time that, like I actually said, made a comment or said something, oh my God, I felt so stupid. I was like this is not sexy, this is not cool, I don't feel comfortable doing this. Like this is ridiculous. Was it the same for?
Speaker 2:you Well, yeah, I think it was. Maybe it was even worse, because I could see that he was really turned off by that. That's so weird and I'm horrified.
Speaker 1:Do you remember what it was that you said?
Speaker 2:No, I can't remember, but I can remember his face and that was he was not turned on and I'm pretty sure we did not have sex that evening. Yeah, and then I asked if he could, like you know, talk to me how he would like me to talk to him, and then he was like no, I don't think I can. So he was also awkward. So then we can, we, we understood that. Okay, this is awkward for both of us, but you know, it's easier for me to say to him in the mornings that, oh, I need you to wear your chastity belt, and so maybe in the evenings sometimes I was just too tired and I told him how I was fucking with some guy at the hotel balcony and he, like came immediately.
Speaker 1:so yeah, so you figured out how to make it work for you, the little comments, the teasing comments. You figured out like oh, this works, so that works, like that's easy to do, that works, no problem, I can do that when I'm really fucking tired.
Speaker 2:That is the secret recipe, right there yeah, exactly, and I think we just like found our go-to themes and things that had worked and so we just went with it. Yeah, and we just practiced.
Speaker 1:It takes practice. I know it did for me too. I felt like so awkward with it for so long and I didn't under like it never felt very good, until I just realized like, oh, I could just be honest If I'm just being brutally honest and not worried about I had to give my myself permission not to worry about hurting his feelings. And once you realize that, okay, you don't, this is not hurting someone's feelings, they are enjoying this. It's like, oh, I can just say the things that I meant to say anyway. So, um, but yeah, it's funny if, if you just say what you mean anyway. So that's really good that you've learned how to kind of trigger those playful humiliation. It's like a game that you can play with him. Right, you figured out how to, oh, what are the rules and how to play it. And then you practice and you're like, oh damn, I'm good at this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, or he is just very good actor, which I don't believe. Why would he bother?
Speaker 1:yeah, yeah, no, from what I've spoken with him, you're good at it. So what are some of the other themes that you guys have played with? Is it just like you talk about, like you sleeping with another guy and you tease him about that part of it, or is this about like fucking black guys? Or is this about a sexual denial and tease and stuff like that?
Speaker 2:Oh, it's a bit of everything. It's mostly you know how small his stuff is compared to. You know kind of like everybody else's yeah stuff is compared to. You know kind of like everybody else's yeah and um and how, how other guys are good in bed and how he's not okay. So this is the reason he could only be a sloppy second and never like a first pick and stuff like that all of that stuff is such gold for cucks.
Speaker 2:They're like, oh, so hot well, yeah, they, you know they didn't have to survive the, the first or the 10th bad, uh, bad, dirty talk, so yeah yeah, exactly, exactly.
Speaker 1:It's a process and it takes time to get really good at it and figure out what really presses the button for your partner. Yeah, and when you figure it out, when you figure out that game, it's so fun to play and this is why, like, there's so many women out there who are like, oh no, I can't be mean, I don't want to be, I don't want to degrade somebody, I don't want to. You know, I can't, I don't, that's not me, whatever. And you, if you only were to like really explore and what Chris, my friend Crystal Welch, says she excavated her husband's mind in that way. She loves doing that. She's like I'm going to explore exactly what all of these little insecurities are that he loves to like play with the idea of this is hot if she says this or does this.
Speaker 2:And when you really explore your partner's mind, like that man, it's like a goldmine of amazing, very intimate, emotionally intimate game that you play with each other yeah, and also, you know what woman wants to do the laundry, but she still does it because her family needs to wear something and I, yeah, it's not hot to compare it with laundry and I didn't want to, you know, do that kind of comparison. But yeah, you have to think about you know, if it makes him so happy, why deny it?
Speaker 1:right. I have a friend. Years ago she said the same thing. She said it's a loving gesture that you do for the person who you love and, in fact, if you deny them and not just like ridicule somebody or or whatever because of their desires, but if you deny them, isn't that kind of mean. You know, and, yeah, I get that there's some things that are too far, but the really cool thing about you guys is that you haven't made it so that you have to sleep with other guys for him to be feel fulfilled and I'm sure that he might argue that because he really wants that but you guys have still figured out a way to have fun with it together in the meantime. Until you figure out.
Speaker 1:If that is something that you want to do, yeah, and there's so much value to that. So for all of the guys listening right now, you can still play with this fantasy with your partner and have a lot of fun with it and not have it go what you would think as all the way where she's cucking you with another guy in real life. I love the fact that there's so many more options other than her just sleeping with another guy, because, let's face it, it's not always safe to be sleeping with other guys. We're, as women, the ones who take the physical and emotional risk biggest risks when it comes to like sleeping with another guy, whether that be pregnancy risk, std, sti risks, physical harm or emotional harm or whatever, or the harm to your relationship, like there's so many things that could go wrong and so it is a big risk that you're asking someone to do.
Speaker 1:It's not just about your boner dudes I know you're listening to me, right, do? It's not just about your boner dudes I know you're listening to me right now. It's not just about your boner. There's a little bit more to consider here. So knowing that you can have fun outside of that is great, and I think you guys are a good example of that. Now I know from the conversations I've had with your partner how much he is really turned on by cuckolding and lots of other things too. But have you felt pressured over the years, like have there been times where you're just like, for fuck's sakes, I have so much laundry to do and like the kids are sick and like I don't want to hear your shit about this anymore? Like do you get fed up sometimes?
Speaker 2:And also like, probably the moments come from lack of sleep, and you know frustrations and you know problems on different levels, not on the relationship side, but you know about life, you're just like bored, you're tired, you're, you know, just grumpy about stuff. You know just grumpy about stuff. But and this is also about communication that we just like didn't talk about it, that he shouldn't send me just like randomly some fantasy or like beautiful pictures that he finds and the beautiful pictures are of, you know, puck theme pictures. So if I'm just like standing with my colleagues and and waiting to eat lunch, then it's not like the perfect time, I don't know. You know if he's asking have you heard about this problem that we're having with our kids or something? Or he's just like sending me some very dirty pictures. So I just I just have to be prepared. And, yeah, we just like didn't plan or we didn't talk about the rules of when he could send me stuff so he could spam you with the cuck porn memes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yes, oh, I understand that. Okay for the guys listening. That is important. Timing is very important. Communication is very important. Having the right time, right place, right setting right everything to be able to send these things to your wife or, you know, have her indulge in your fantasy stuff. You might be thinking about it 24 hours a day, but she's not. I can pretty much guarantee it. No, she's not. And then have you ever been like we need to take a break from talking about cuckolding or kinky stuff, like I need to just focus on kids for a little while.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, there have been like times and times during, you know, winter months when everybody is sick for like three months in a row. Maybe only few days are, you know, spaced between. And so I've, just, like you, just have to listen to Venus podcast. I just like, I'm sorry, I'm just like I need to sleep, I need to clean the house. Everything is disgusting, disgusting. Everything is sticky. You know, the kids are whining. Yeah, yeah, I have a lot of work to do. So, sorry, and and I think it's a hot tip for guys that every time you take out the trash without being told so you clean something up. You, you know, do the shower drain clean up, then you can, you know, be quite sure that the sex will come after that.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's very true, because, like nothing kills your sex drive more efficiently than being overworked and overtired. And if your partner is just sitting on the couch and you're just like making constant drowns like kids, cleaning up the toilet, cleaning up the bathroom, cleaning up the kitchen, making dinner, doing stuff, and then trying to sit just to do your work stuff, and then he just like has been sitting there for 30 minutes at least and I haven't sat down for a minute, and then he's just like, oh, what do you think? Should we do something tonight? How about you clean after yourself? I'm not even like asking to clean after anybody else, you know, this is like the bare minimum.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, just clean up the sexual flow that is a fucking hot tip for any guys listening and I know like I. I feel like this narrative is pushed a lot in society and in as it should be. But one thing that I have realized is that women often carry a massive part of the mental load of the relationship and of the family, and I didn't realize this. I didn't know that there was a word for this the mental load until I started watching. Zach Watson is his name. For any of you guys listening, I'll put the link for him in the show notes for today, because he talks about how partners can help with managing the mental load of their partner.
Speaker 1:This is what you're talking about.
Speaker 1:You get so overwhelmed with the mental load of the housework, of the tasks that need to be done the dinners, the cleaning, the cooking, everything, the sick kids, the whining kids, the husband, whatever.
Speaker 1:All of that shit is so overwhelming that when your brain is just so full of all of that there is no room available for fucking kinky talk and there's no desire for any of that shit. You're just like, god damn it. I just want to get all this shit checked off the list so that we can, so I can think that I can relax, you know. So, absolutely, I feel like if guys and there's probably lots of guys who do already do this invest in their partner by taking off the mental load from their plate, it really does help a woman get into the mood, the desire to want to be able to even think about sex or fantasies at all. So it's definitely worthwhile, is definitely worthwhile. But I do get some guys who they'll write in, they'll send in a voice note to the show or whatever, and they were like, yeah, so we have a seven month old baby, me and my wife, and I just really want her to cuckold me, and I, you know I brought it up.
Speaker 2:But she doesn't seem very interested.
Speaker 1:Well, oh, oh, dear boy, I'm always like for real, like maybe this is not the right time of your life to be doing this shit, like do you know what she's going through physically, emotionally, everything.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that's, yeah, that's pretty wild.
Speaker 1:That's why I was surprised to hear that your partner brought it up to you first, initially after you'd had your first child.
Speaker 2:Like this is the most difficult part of your life having kids Also the most detrimental part of your life on your relationship, as it is never mind kinky stuff yeah, and also, like you know, if, if men would consider all the things that your body goes through, yeah, you know, like with all the hormones, while being pregnant, carrying around a huge belly, then giving birth to it, do you know where the babies come out from? Have you seen it, guys? And then what happens after the birth, like have you seen the diaper guys, like it's huge, the diaper guys, like it's huge. And and after all of the breastfeeding and the constant, like nights and evenings and you know I'm not talking about the household stuff at all or the older children, if you have those. So, yeah, with a seven months old, I don't think she is harboring very much sexy thoughts.
Speaker 1:No, she's probably not going to appreciate it very much when you bring this up that you want her to do this for you and you're adding one more thing to the list.
Speaker 1:But, yeah, for all the guys out there who are really insecure about the size of their wiener and that's every guy out there they're just always like thinking about the size of their dick and obsessed about it and it's such like a thing for all of you.
Speaker 1:Okay, so you guys have this like insecurity. Can you imagine what women go through as far as insecurity about their body, their fucking pussy, their tits, their ass, everything the size of their body or the stretch marks or the everything that happens after? I mean like everything that happens to your body after you have a baby or even during the process of pregnancy and everything like that. Just think about, like that effect on a woman emotionally and and how that affects your confidence. So, anyway, there's a lot to consider, but I'm I'm really glad that you guys have figured out a way to kind of still regardless of the craziness of parent life, motherhood and everything like that figure out a way to have fun with it together. Now I understand that recently you guys went to go and you sought out a sex therapist or something like that. Is that correct?
Speaker 2:Yeah, actually, I think she was more like, maybe couples counselor, because we, we wanted to talk about some like rules in the relationship in the relationship, because we we had some questions that just kept rising up and we we just like had had some solutions, but we felt that they're not working anymore.
Speaker 2:So we were just like went to her and and asked like how how can we manage it better? Or or should we, how is it fair to everybody, or the best way to to make some wise decision about it? And and I think that she, she did give some sound advice because, like my problem is that I think I've always only had as a normal evolution of like a romantic love, but for him, he just he thinks I think maybe men think in general more that, oh, you can just lust and so that's also like a good way to spend time very comfortably, yeah, but but for me, um, um, yeah, I think I'm just like I can't understand how we can, how I can sleep with somebody else and not jeopardize our relationship, because I feel that in order to have sex with somebody else, I should be in love.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But it doesn't seem like a very good plan.
Speaker 1:Many women struggle with that balancing those two things and figuring out a happy medium. Many women do this is very common, and I suspect a lot of guys who are listening to this show right now have had their wife say the same thing. I do think it's like so amazing that you guys decided to reach out to a professional and figure out like, how do we work through this? Because it's probably, you know, money you have to spend, time that you have to spend to do this, but very worthwhile, I'm assuming, right right, oh yeah, because I well it.
Speaker 2:You know, that relationship that we have, it's the best thing I've ever done in my life. So it would be like, really, I don't know, I don't think it would be easier somehow to throw it away and hope for the best. And oh, maybe I could find somebody else who, I don't know, fulfills everything, because you just like have to work on it. It's not like you have to find somebody.
Speaker 1:Exactly, and I feel like so many people, especially the guys, because it's usually guys bringing it up with to their wife and then she's like hell, no, whatever, whatever you know, um, it is worth it to try to figure out a way to make it worth staying together for, like you guys have a family together, you live together, you've got life plans together, you love each other. There's so much it's not worth throwing away just because you don't want to fulfill this fantasy. All the way for him, right?
Speaker 2:now it's not worth it. Yeah, and also I haven't ruled anything out and we'll just see what happens, but until that time I can do other stuff.
Speaker 1:Exactly, you can have fun with it Exactly. All right, we are pretty much out of time for this show, kelly. I've absolutely enjoyed having you on so much. I think that so many people who are listening are going to come away with a lot of really good insight with this, so thank you so much for joining me on the show today.
Speaker 2:Thank you for having me, it was great fun.
Speaker 1:That's going to be it for today's episode. Thank you so much for joining me. Make sure you go to VenusCuckoldresscom. That's where you can book a private chat with me, and you can also join the Queens Quarters community and get all the amazing benefits, like the private podcast and the helpful cuck tier, where you can get key holding for the private Snapchat group, monthly private chats with me and weekly live hangouts and invites to special live events. Oh, and you can also submit a question or confession for the show. Just go to venuscuckledresscom and click on the link that says the podcast. Make sure you follow me on Blue Sky Social. Yes, I said Blue Sky Social. Fuck Twitter. My handle there is at CuckoldressV. All right, that's it for today's show, you guys. We'll see you next time. Bye.